About Gifting Experiences

I don’t want or need many material things.

I prefer being gifted with experiences over anything I can unwrap. For the past few years, I’ve wanted much less stuff for Christmas and have craved more experiences and quality time with people I care about. Awhile back when I heard about minimalism and read more about The Minimalists (Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus) and their book, Essential, some of their essays resonated with me and were refreshing reminders that material items don’t matter as much as we think they do. While I don’t knock having nice things, I believe having nice experiences mean more.

Think about it. If and when you go get a massage, a manicure/pedicure, go to a concert, take a cooking class, go on a planned trip, attend a professional sporting event, have a wine and paint night, ride around with your family to see the holiday lights, go ice skating, go out for a cup of tea or coffee or cider or hot chocolate with someone you care about, or just sit down and are really present with someone you’re with (instead of scrolling through your phone or quickly posting about what you’re doing on social media) you’re actively creating memories. Yes, you may still be spending money, but you’re actively having experiences vs. a ton of material items you may not even want or need later.

I still get gifts for my loved ones, but I aim to gift experiences where I can. A gift I usually don't mind receiving is quality clothing I can wear, which is thoughtful because we all need clothing, right? However, I'm learning not to be attached to stuff. I don't need additional coffee mugs, electronics, jewelry, shoes, books, movies, journals, or anything else that will clutter my space. You probably don't need any more of those things either. This Christmas, I encourage you to be mindful of your purchases and gift requests. Aim to gift and have more experiences than stuff. I believe you'll enjoy the experiences more.

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves