About Gifting Experiences

I don’t want or need many material things.

I prefer being gifted with experiences over anything I can unwrap. For the past few years, I’ve wanted much less stuff for Christmas and have craved more experiences and quality time with people I care about. Awhile back when I heard about minimalism and read more about The Minimalists (Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus) and their book, Essential, some of their essays resonated with me and were refreshing reminders that material items don’t matter as much as we think they do. While I don’t knock having nice things, I believe having nice experiences mean more.

Think about it. If and when you go get a massage, a manicure/pedicure, go to a concert, take a cooking class, go on a planned trip, attend a professional sporting event, have a wine and paint night, ride around with your family to see the holiday lights, go ice skating, go out for a cup of tea or coffee or cider or hot chocolate with someone you care about, or just sit down and are really present with someone you’re with (instead of scrolling through your phone or quickly posting about what you’re doing on social media) you’re actively creating memories. Yes, you may still be spending money, but you’re actively having experiences vs. a ton of material items you may not even want or need later.

I still get gifts for my loved ones, but I aim to gift experiences where I can. A gift I usually don't mind receiving is quality clothing I can wear, which is thoughtful because we all need clothing, right? However, I'm learning not to be attached to stuff. I don't need additional coffee mugs, electronics, jewelry, shoes, books, movies, journals, or anything else that will clutter my space. You probably don't need any more of those things either. This Christmas, I encourage you to be mindful of your purchases and gift requests. Aim to gift and have more experiences than stuff. I believe you'll enjoy the experiences more.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Making Waves