Can you work my shift?
Can I have a moment of your time? (This won’t seem like a big deal at first… but the time adds up and can interrupt your day, workflow, opportunities, and time spent working on your goals.)
Can you babysit for me?
Can I borrow your car?
Can I get a ride?
Can I borrow some money?
Do you have tickets to that concert, show, or game?
Can you, will you, why won’t you?
And the requests could go on and on.
This world is filled with givers, takers, and users.
I’m amazed at the different requests that have come my way, sometimes, regularly. And I’m especially baffled when these kinds of requests come from anyone I either don’t know well or those I have known or have a history with who would not and sometimes outright refused to help me whenever I needed help or was struggling. Sometimes people who perceive that you are well off in life don’t get that you may have had (or currently have) struggles or lack in different areas of your own life. That said, sometimes, there won’t be people who will help when you ask, offer to help, or will insult you and talk down to you when you ask for help, even though they’re in positions to help. This can be painful, but I can testify to the fact that you will make it through, and you will learn who you can and can’t trust and lean on in those moments. I know what it’s like to struggle and I know what it’s like to be blessed. If you’ve been able to experience both sides, you learn to be a grateful and graceful person, but you also learn not to let people take advantage of you.
I’ve had to learn the hard way that if you keep saying yes to the requests I’ve listed above or any other ones, people will keep taking from you – if you allow them to. Family. Friends. Significant others. Coworkers. Acquaintances. And anyone else who only reaches out or contacts you when they want or need something from you. And today, I encourage you to stop letting people take advantage of you. If you are a giver, I know this will be hard at first. Been there. Done that. But as long as you’re living, there will always be people hitting you up and asking you for favors and requests they have no business asking you for. And while it’s okay to be generous and giving, you need to be careful about who you’re giving to, what you’re giving, and why.
This year, I’ve been better with pulling back and having balance. And if you are reading this and still having issues with any takers or users in your own life? Know that it’s okay to say no and that it’s not selfish to say no. Also, make sure you don’t turn into a taker or user yourself. Don’t hit up your family, friends, people you barely know on social media, or anyone you haven’t kept in touch with for weeks, months, or years asking for favors or trying to get put on when you just want or need something. That’s not okay. If you’re in trouble and need help or are having serious issues with something, by all means, reach out to those you’re close with, but don’t take advantage of them.