About Confronting Your Fears

Fear is a liar.

It’s false evidence appearing real. But it’s something that hinders a lot of people’s lives and causes them unwanted stress, pressure, and anxiety.

And I don’t like it one bit.

The thing about fear is that aside from the fact that it’s present at times, it’s something that can be moved through. Some things have scared me. Some things still do. And then there are other things that I’ve simply decided I’m not going to be afraid of anymore. Instead, I’ll move through them. I’ve moved through bullies that used to pick on me growing up. I’ve moved through insults and shade from internet trolls who have criticized my writing, I’ve moved through confrontations I was scared to have with certain family members, former friends, and different colleagues. And I’ve even moved through fears about different insecurities I’ve struggled with.

You have to confront your fears head-on and move through them, or else you’ll have a hard time getting through this life and its challenges.

Now, understand, there are some things you should legit have fears and reservations about. Mainly things like putting yourself or your life at risk by getting involved with unsafe people, places, or things that could cause harm to you or others, but ultimately, I don’t believe God wants any of us living in a state of fear. I believe He wants us at peace and for our spirits to be at ease. If there’s something or someone in your life you’re not confronting, and it’s put fear in you? Move through it. Those fears can’t hold you hostage anymore. This is your life. So start living it.

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves