Be who you needed growing up.
A lot of people make the mistake of looking to others to do this for them.
I’ve made the same mistake at different times myself. As a child, teenager, and during different times as a young adult…
· I needed support, understanding, and encouragement in different areas of my life from important people in my life who were dismissive when it came to support, understanding, and encouragement.
· I needed to know it was okay for me to be myself and not have to follow in anyone else’s footsteps.
· I needed to know it was okay (and that it’s still okay) to be a young woman who prioritizes my well-being, education, career and dreams, and different experiences and opportunities, instead of choosing a life that’s only perceived as successful or approved of based on having a man and having children. Even though it’s 2019, it’s surprising that a lot of people still think that a man and children are the ultimate measure of worth for a woman to be qualified as “successful” or approved of. I just don’t get it.
· I needed to know it was okay to have different views outside of what I was taught growing up in church, to challenge questionable legalistic practices, and that my relationship with God is between Him and me.
· I needed help with different things I was struggling with instead of being reprimanded and called selfish and being told, “You’re just being emotional” and “You’re too sensitive” and “Stop taking everything so personally.”
Then one day, something clicked.
I thought about how I could be who and what I needed, and with time, things have shifted in a more positive direction.
You can be who you needed growing up. You owe it to yourself.
One of the reasons I’m a great cheerleader and encourager for people who need it the most is because I didn’t always receive those things in different areas of my own life. Sometimes, I still don’t. And while that can be discouraging at times, I know I can decide to support myself. I can approve of myself. I believe that God approves of me too. I can choose to love myself unconditionally. I can feel whatever kind of emotions I want to feel and not be harsh or critical about myself or feel as if I’m being too emotional or selfish. I can live a life that makes sense to me, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.
And so can you.
Stop looking to outside sources to be who and what you need. If you have people in your life who do this for you, cool. But if not, give what you need to yourself. Be who you needed growing up.
You’ve got this.