Sometimes I feel sorry for non-single people.
Which may be odd, considering many couples (especially married ones) often seem to feel sorry for singles.
Being single comes with a lot of freedom that serious couples and married people don’t have, which I’ve noticed not a lot of single people I’ve met and known are often aware of or taking full advantage of. I’ve also noticed that I have yet to meet too many single young women who are happily single and moving through life without being obsessed or worried about settling down, meanwhile, I see the opportunities in this space.
If you’re single you can pretty much do what you want with your time, money and resources, work on yourself, and figure out what you want the rest of your life to look like: with or without a significant other in the picture. Everything may not turn out exactly as planned, but you’re still the CEO of your life.
Should you ever begin feeling unsettled while single, or anxious, worried, or insecure about your singleness, I highly recommend connecting with some seasoned married folks (preferably couples at least 10 years into the marriage game), people who are separated or divorced, single parents, and maybe even some newlyweds who are honest, brave, and bold enough to spill the unfiltered truth about what settling down or having kids is like. They can provide a lot of insight and reality checks about the soul-crushing moments that can come with being a spouse or a parent.
After listening to people who will tell you the truth, I promise you will have a new appreciation for where you’re at right now.
In 1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul writes, “I wish everyone could get along without marrying, just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of marriage, and to others he gives the gift of singleness.
This is a time to maximize your freedom. So get moving…
Budget. If you’re single and making money, budget your income as best as you can and feel free to connect with a financial advisor if needed. If you’re spending money and treating yourself every once in a while, cool, but don’t overspend, underfund your savings, and neglect taking care of what’s important. Your income still needs to be handled properly, so when it’s time for you to put the down payment on a home you’d like to purchase or a vehicle that needs repairs, or an emergency that comes up, or anything else unexpected, you’ll have money handy to comfortably take on what comes your way.
Get Out Of The House. Almost every weekend I’m out doing something fun. I know people in relationships who rarely have that option. Especially if they’re married and/or have kids. So if you’re single, I highly recommend making the best of not being tied down and being intentional about going out. You don’t have to do the bar or club or party thing but go try a new sport, attend a sporting event, outdoor concert, new art exhibit, take yourself out to a good meal, or whatever else you want to do but the point is to get out, meet people, and have fun. Also, if you’re planning to meet someone, it’s highly unlikely that they’ll be at your doorstep begging you to step away from streaming Netflix, scrolling through other people’s social media accounts, and feeling sorry for yourself. I’m just saying.
Explore New Circles. Because I don’t have too many single girlfriends who are on the same page about this whole bachelorette thing, I’ve had to go out and meet new people. I’ve been out with people from work, people I’ve met at events I’ve attended alone, people I’ve been introduced to through mutual friends, and more, and sometimes, it hasn’t been easy. But if you want to have certain experiences and not go it alone, you have to think about where different people might be that are doing the things you want to do. This world is full of incredible people who would love to get to know you. Go find them. Go meet them.
Maximize your time. Don’t waste it.