Frustrations. Disappointments. Traumas.
In time, they can all pile up and negatively take a toll on you to the point where you don’t feel like your normal self anymore.
And eventually, they can all lead to depression.
Depression can hit anyone. Even seemingly positive and put together people, who appear they’re doing just fine on the outside.
For some, it doesn’t take much for it to kick in. For others, it can be a whole list of things and one of the most important things is recognizing when things have felt or seemed off for a long time, and then deciding to seek help.
I’ve had seasons where I’ve struggled with depression to the point where I didn’t want to get out of bed, be around anyone, and didn’t care much about how I looked when I left home. Other times I’d just cry, sleep for a long time, isolate myself, stop eating or overeat depending on how I felt at the time, allow my emotions to take over, and stay angry and complain, for days, about everything I felt was wrong with different things in my life.
And eventually, I’d tell God how angry I was with Him.
I’m definitely not one of those Christians who does the whole, “Hey! I’m blessed and highly favored…” responses when someone asks how I’m doing. Especially when things have been rough. I don’t even use that line when things are good. But I find it funny that so many other Christians do. It’s like a default setting response in different Christian communities.
If you’re reading this and wondering, “How dare she?!” Just chill. I love God, but I had to keep it real with Him. He already knows how we’re all feeling anyway, right? Why not be honest?
In my mind, many things that happened were His fault. My pain, discontentment, and frustrations would build to the point where I was deeply hurt, angry, confused, and disappointed with Him. Especially during seasons where things seemed super unfair and unjust.
I’m not perfect, and sure, I’ve fallen short at times, but I actively strive to live a life that’s pleasing to God.
After I’d throw my pity parties and sit with my depression, I’d eventually muster the strength to pray, write, and start reaching out to people I knew I could trust and lean on for guidance and encouragement. And eventually, the depression would lift. Although I was still disappointed and recovering from different things that triggered it, I wasn’t in a space so bad and dark that I couldn’t recover.
I’m addressing this because mental health has become a huge topic of conversation in the world today, and there are people actively struggling with depression. Some people feel obligated to pretend everything’s fine, when everything’s not, and sadly, carry things in silence when they’d love nothing more than to release the weights of all that’s weighing them down.
No one has to go through what they’re going through alone.
If you’re struggling with depression or know someone who is, please seek help. Get counseling if you need to. Talk to a trusted friend or family member or even pour your thoughts and feelings into a journal. Consider exercise, getting outdoors and taking in the fresh air and sunlight of a new day, or make time to catch up with people who can lift your spirits. You’re going to get through whatever you’re dealing with, and you don’t have to go through it by yourself.