Hearing the statement, “Good girls finish last” has never sat well with me.
It feels shameful. And weird. And judgy.
I would later continue hearing that statement from others, in so many different ways, until the point of silent frustration and annoyance kicked in, which lead to some reflecting:
Good girls finish last.
Good girls finish last?
I don’t think so.
After all, life is not a race. And if you ever think it is, you should chill out and calm down.
Comments like good girls finish last can come off disheartening and discouraging and isn’t something that’s based in truth. So what if someone is a good girl? There’s nothing wrong with being one. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Everyone may have different interpretations and views of what it means to be a “good girl” but regardless, I believe in allowing people to be who they are without putting them in a box, or assuming they will “finish last” because of how you perceive them by your limited thinking.
Other good girls I know have been shamed, ridiculed, called out, and even picked on for being perceived as “good.”
They’ve listened and held their peace and even sometimes shrunk and got intimidated when other young women and some young men made presumptuous and sometimes bizarre comments about them and other good girls who had different views and values outside of what’s been considered popular or acceptable.
Believe it or not…
There are good girls who drink but don’t get wasted when they go out.
There are good girls who date around without sleeping around.
There are good girls who have fun but still have boundaries and standards.
And there are definitely good girls who fall short and make mistakes and know that good doesn’t necessarily mean perfect.
I’ve faced some backlash, criticism, and good girl shaming too and have heard handfuls of things like:
“You’re not better than me.”
“You’re just way too nice.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“Your views are offensive and could offend others.”
And more.
When you don’t go with the crowd, follow in other people’s footsteps, or do what everyone else seems to be doing, naturally, certain levels of backlash and criticism are inevitable.
But you’re allowed to be who you are and don’t have to apologize for it.
Let other people think whatever they want to think.
There’s nothing wrong with having standards and values and respect for yourself. You don’t have to compromise or explain or convince anyone about your beliefs or why you choose to move in a direction that may be opposite of what’s popular or common. And you don’t have to live your life based on what some of your family and friends are doing or want you to do. If you have friends who have a problem with your lifestyle or beliefs, you can go out and make some new ones. If a guy doesn’t respect where you’re at with how you carry yourself, there are plenty of other guys who would love to get to know you. And if your family, whether immediate or extended, doesn’t particularly care for your views or values, you’re not obligated to be around them.
As long as you know who you are, and are confident with that, that’s all that matters.