Believe it or not, there are groups of women in families, friend circles, workplaces, neighborhoods, on social media, and even in some churches, who pursue or get involved with men who are spoken for.
This is not okay.
I’ve painfully had to cut ties and back away from some women I used to be cool with, some I once considered friends, who did stuff like that. The demise of some of those friendships was painful, but I couldn’t stay quiet or pretend to be cool with anyone who would get involved with someone they knew was spoken for and break up a happy couples relationship or home.
Warning: if you have friends like this, you may want to think twice about those friendships and be very careful about having your significant other around people like that too. Because if those friends would do what they do to other women, they could do it to you too.
While I’m a forgiving and understanding person, who has almost always tried to see the good in others, and given people the benefit of the doubt, I’ve often wondered why women who carry on scandalously, at least from my point of view, are often the ones getting pursued and wifed up, starting families, and seemingly embracing their happy endings, while there are masses of good women, who would never be as selfish or quick to devalue themselves in pursuit of a happy ending at the expense of ruining another woman’s situation. I just don’t get it.
I’ve prayed about it. Cried about it. Been angry and frustrated about it. And honestly, been disappointed with God about it too. While it’s none of my business how He blesses or allows certain things to happen in another woman’s life, I’ve empathized and sat down with some really good women, some who were dating, married, and a few who got divorced, who in different ways have expressed these sentiments:
What did I do wrong? What am I doing wrong?
They’re valid questions. Especially when women who are selfish, messy, and promiscuous are seemingly progressing in the world of relationships, marriage, and motherhood. Sometimes this prompts really good women to question themselves and wonder if something is the matter with them.
Women who are thots, sidechicks, and homewreckers obviously have issues with their self-esteem, and I’ve noticed how a number of them have zero remorse for the relationships they taint, the innocent women and families they ruin, and most importantly, the lives of innocent children who are impacted by their actions. I won’t deny the role the men in these situations play too, as they are equally if not more responsible for partaking, but if you are a woman who knows a guy is spoken for, and continue seeing him, messaging him on social media or keeping contact via email with flirty or inappropriate messages, sleeping with him, have a child/children with him, or plan on marrying him, I must warn you that your actions have consequences.
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” – Galatians 6:7
What goes around will always come around. Maybe not right away, but your ratchetness will catch up with you.
That you can believe.
Now, I have heard of situations where some women didn’t know a guy they were involved with was spoken for, however, we live in a time where you could easily confirm someone’s relationship status if you were having any doubts. So, “I didn’t know” isn’t a good excuse.
Have respect for yourself and other people’s relationships. It’s the right thing to do.
Also, a quick list of reminders for women who have bad boundaries:
If you know a guy is taken….
· Don’t be all up in his face. That’s inappropriate and disrespectful to his significant other. You wouldn’t want another woman all up in your boo’s face, would you?
· Don’t have conversations with him that you wouldn’t have in front of his girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.
· No inappropriate touching. A handshake or side hug may suffice, depending on familiarity, but lengthy full-frontal hugs and caressing are ill-advised.
· Stay out of his social media inbox and keep him out of yours unless it’s professional, business related, or an emergency.
· Exercise wisdom on social media when liking or commenting on his photos. (That heart button can cause some problems if you’re not careful.)