Skip to main content

The Problem With Microaggressions

Last week, a group of my colleagues and I attended a diversity awareness training that was given by a young black-female professor and faculty member where we work. 

I’d honestly been looking forward to the training all week, as diversity is a topic important and intriguing to me, and when it arrived, I couldn’t wait to see what was in store. We were all in for an opportunity to confront some real issues and challenges happening in different workplaces and settings outside of it.

This professor possessed a wealth of knowledge, both personally and professionally, providing insight into the world of diversity and its challenges and sometimes lingering controversies. 

The one thing, in particular, she addressed, that myself and a number of my colleagues became more familiarized with, was the topic of microaggressions.

According to Dictionary.com, a microaggression can be defined as follows:

·      A subtle but offensive comment or action directed at a minority or other nondominant group that is often unintentional or unconsciously reinforces a stereotype: microaggressions such as “I don’t see you as black.”

·      The act of discriminating against a nondominant group by means of such comments or actions: The diversity committee discussed the issue of microaggression toward women on campus. 

As a young black woman, who has a college degree, an incredible work ethic, and a nice amount of skills and quality work experiences under my belt: 

·     I’ve been infantilized, plenty of times, in different workplaces by different colleagues who assumed I wasn’t smart or couldn’t handle certain tasks. 
·     I’ve been snapped at in a professional setting by a white colleague for greeting another colleague with a head nod (who happened to be a person of color too.) 
·     On many occasions, I’ve had things mansplained to me by different male colleagues as if I wasn’t smart and didn’t know what I was doing, which I’m almost certain wouldn’t have ever happened if I was white. 
·     I’ve been told, “Please don’t take things too personally…” whenever I reached out for help when discriminated against. 
·     I’ve been asked, “Did you just vote for Obama because he’s black?”
·     I’ve been called a “White-black girl.”
·     I’ve been asked if I was ethnically “mixed” because of the complexion of my skin and some of my features. 
·     I’ve been told, “You should wear your hair straighter” when I was between hairstyles and wore my natural hair in an Afro style with a headband. 
·     I’ve been told, “Be sure you’re getting to work on time” by a white colleague when I was at my desk moments before my shift started, mind you, I always arrive at work on time and I’m at my desk at least five minutes before my workday begins. 
·      I was once body-shamed and criticized by a white colleague about my workplace attire. 
·     I’ve been isolated and left out of different opportunities that were offered to other peers and colleagues.
·     And in various workplaces and spaces, I’ve experienced being given menial work tasks to do while underperforming non-minority employees were promptly promoted in different roles and positions regularly.  

I’ve also had different colleagues, who happened to be minorities, come to me upset at different points when another colleague, who happened to be white, made an ignorant racial joke, assumption about people of color, or were quickly dismissive, defensive, or negative when a person of color shared a prejudice they were facing or one another person of color may have been enduring. Knowing what I know now, I wish I would have encouraged some of those employees to document and report each of their incidents to HR, however, this microaggression thing can get complicated.

Especially since it can be hard to prove. Often the aggressors may not even realize how offensive they’re being.

It’s in the way you look at someone.
It’s in the way you might refuse to acknowledge someone’s presence.
It’s in the way you shut down or dismiss someone’s voice or input. 
It’s in the way you speak to someone. Not so much with what you're saying but how you're saying it. 
And many of your non-verbal cues may speak volumes too.

In my own experiences, I’ve found that when an aggressor I’ve had an unpleasant encounter with catches their behavior (likely from my silence and a confused look on my face), they will say sorry followed by an insincere apology, and often retreat to their default settings of microaggression towards myself and others they may have an open or buried prejudice against.

And it’s wrong. 

As a person of color, I know enduring this can be isolating, frustrating, mentally and emotionally draining, discouraging, and in some cases, impact work performance and overall morale for people of color.

So, where do we go from here and how do we fix this? 

I believe awareness is a good start.

However, awareness is not enough. 

Right after the training I listened as different colleagues shared how the training forced them to confront different prejudices they may have learned as children from their own families, and how helpful the training was, but then, some of those same people went right back to their same patterns.

One training or even several will hardly resolve this issue but at least it provided the opportunity to have a conversation about what’s happening. 

If you’re in a setting where microaggressions are happening, say something and do something about them. Don’t remain silent or pretend you don’t know what’s going on. And if you sense you may be an aggressor, check yourself. Would you want someone talking at you, marginalizing you, dismissing your voice or concerns or ideas, or making presumptions about you and your race, or your sex, or where you came from based off some invalid stereotypes?

I don’t believe so. 

Collectively, we can all move things forward in a more positive, progressive, and improved direction. 

Knowledge, awareness, and taking action can help. 


Popular posts from this blog

A Year Of Being Ghosted

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About  six  to be exact. ·        The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. ·        The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and exchanged occasional texts, but eventually he stopped responding to me

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace.       As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken things too far

Teacher Table Talk: When Parents Attack

As an English teacher, a core belief I’ve held close since the beginning of my career has been the importance of relationship building. I believe that if great relationships between teachers, students, and parents are established at the beginning of the school year, everything else will fall into place. Authentically modeling, practicing, and establishing mutually respectful and professional relationships within my classroom has been the bridge for effective communication, solid classroom management, and creating a safe and effective learning environment that fits each of my student’s needs.  And though I’ve seen and experienced the benefits of great relationship building, unfortunately, there have been times when some students and parents have not been receptive or interested in my efforts to establish connections that would best serve all parties involved. I’ve also noticed and shared spaces with other educators, school counselors, and administrators who’ve experienced the same. And