Female mentorship is important. Especially for today’s generation of young women. I have a handful of mentors that have helped provide guidance to me in my personal and professional life, have supported and celebrated with me in my accomplishments, and have been there to show me how to make it through challenging times. If I didn’t know any of the women who’ve mentored me and made deposits into me as a person, I’m not sure I would’ve applied to college, made it through college, been able to go on job interviews and continually go towards my dreams in the process. In different ways, they have all shown me the importance of defining what it means for me to be my own woman.
Mentors have likely been where you’re trying to go and can help you avoid some pitfalls and mistakes they may have made when they were your age, which can help you make different choices and better decisions. Mentors are not solely responsible for mentees, though. Mentees have a role to play too. As a mentee, you should be initiating contact for the mentorship you desire, have a balance with the giving/taking approach, and check in with mentors who have taken time to help you along your journey. Here’s how:
Who Inspires You? I’ve often connected with women older than me who inspired me. Whether they were the HWIC (Head Woman In Charge) at their company or a college professor or a stylist or a working mom or a single and independent woman making bank and boss moves, I made it my mission to pick their brains, ask them questions, and study what has made them successful. I’ve found that people who inspire you will often be flattered by your interest in them and be happy to share their stories about how they became who they are and what obstacles they went through to get where they are. Can you think of any women doing what you want to do? If so, reach out to them.
Ask Them Out. I’ve been nervous to approach incredibly successful women I’ve looked up to sometimes, but I moved through my fears and did it anyway. Ask someone out you want to mentor you. You may get ignored or hear no, which is fine, you’ll survive. But you might just get a yes from someone who’d love to coach you, help you succeed, and encourage you to blossom. I’ve been on coffee dates, brunch/lunch/dinner dates, walk-in-the-park dates, and had the chance to sit in on meetings and networking events with women who were business owners, moms building their own brands, and creatives who were killin’ the game, all because I asked them out. It may feel awkward at first but if you want some help, all you have to do is ask.
Give A Little, Take A Little. This is probably the most important aspect of mentorship. Mastering the balance of giving and taking. If someone has generously taken time from their life, day, family, and work schedule to invest in you and help you grow, make sure that you’re reciprocating. You may not be able to do it on the level your mentor does, but you can check in with them about how things are moving along for you when you experience a successful moment. Especially if they were someone who supported and cheered you on. You can offer to pick up the bill if you’re dining out together. You can also send them handwritten thank you cards for helping you. Along with a nice gift too. Don’t ever make the mistake of constantly being a taker and not giving, which is not too far off from being a user. As a mentee, you may be someone’s mentor someday and you need to show the next group of rising women how it’s done. Now go out there and get connected. You’ve got this.