I read the comments out of curiosity. Almost all of them were good, except for a few unpleasant ones. After I read them, I put my phone down, shrugged, and life went on.
The people commenting about what I wrote didn’t really know me. So why should I care what they think?
An article I submitted on Thought Catalog went live and the world of social media responded. I believed my article was great. Thought Catalog thought it was great enough to publish and share, and different readers responded to it well, except for a handful of people who felt the need to criticize it and guess what?
Life still went on and myself, my confidence, and my love of being a writer remained intact.
Such is the life of being a writer. Criticism just comes with the territory. (By the way, if you can, don’t always feel the need to check out the comments section when published…I’m just saying.)
My point is, if you’re making moves, doing great things with your life, and using your gifts, you’re likely going to be criticized. Dealing with criticism and being afraid to step out and do different things has been something different people I know have messaged me about on social media or asked me for advice about in person and my response is this: people are going to criticize you, but ignore it (especially when it’s not useful and mean-spirited) and keep moving forward.
If you’re going to build, create, or move through this world doing amazing things, you have to have a tough skin to weather the criticism and controversies that will be heading your way. I find that a lot of women sometimes struggle with this and feel bad or get down on themselves about whatever it is they’ve got going for themselves the moment someone who’s doing nothing, at least nothing worth paying attention to, criticizes them. The only way to avoid criticism is to do or say nothing. And ain’t nobody got time for that! Don’t allow someone else’s opinion or criticism of you to dictate your feelings, actions, energy, or creativity. Here are some ways you can deal with it…
Step Into Your Spotlight. I used to allow myself to be paralyzed with fear anytime anyone showed interest in my writing or blogging. What will they think? What will they say? How will they take me? Those questions were always running through my mind. And while this still happens sometimes, I’ve learned that I can’t control or be worried about what people think, say, or how they perceive me. As long as I believe in myself and the content I’m creating, that’s all that matters. If I reach just one person or none, I’m still going to keep writing and blogging because I enjoy doing them both. Whether you’re a writer, painter, singer, student, or anything else you want to be, step into your spotlight and shine.
Know Who You Are. I can’t express this enough but when you know who you are, you know who you are not. I’ve read different things written about me. I’ve had shots fired at me on social media. And I’ve even had people come at me sideways in person, call me out of my name, and more. And while those things sometimes hurt or were brief distractions, I always went back to the base of knowing who I am. And sometimes, to my surprise, some of the same people who’ve criticized me or had something negative to say, have tried emulating things I’ve already done or “borrowed” different ideas I came up with. And more often than not, the people criticizing you are probably unhappy in different areas of their lives and think different things about your life outshines theirs. It’s bizarre, but it happens. Here’s what else I know too: I am not a negative review. I am not a negative word someone calls me. And I’m more than someone else’s opinion of me, and so are you. Know who you are.
Haters Gonna Hate… Give Them No Attention. I’m still working through this because it’s not always easy taking the high road when someone negatively criticizes you, but the truth is, haters are gonna hate. That’s what they do. Do what you can to give them no attention. Remember, criticism is a sign people are paying attention to you, which means you’re likely doing something cool that’s turning heads. Focus on the support you are getting and ignore the negativity. Never get too caught up in the praise either. Remain humble. And keep believing in yourself. There will always be critics, but remember, you’ve got this.