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I Have Church In The Morning

He was kind, dark, and handsome. He had an incredible smile too. We crossed paths on a Saturday night during an intermission at the Something in the Water festival in Hampton Roads. “Wow, hey beautiful. What’s up?” He asked. “Just waiting on some friends,” I replied. He asked where I was from and we ended up chatting for a bit. Then it happened. The question I almost always get when I’m out and about, just living my best life as a bachelorette… 

“What are you doing after this?” He asked.

And I replied.

“I’m going home after this. I have church in the morning.”
He paused. Then he squinted. And briefly appeared to be in deep thought for a moment (this is a common reaction whenever I tell a guy, “I have church in the morning…” so I wasn’t surprised. It’s just entertaining to watch sometimes. Plus, it gives me a feel for what kind of guy I’m dealing with.)

He smiled, leaned back, and replied, “Wooooow, that’s really good.” I started laughing then asked him, “Are you a Christian?”

“Not exactly,” he replied. “But maybe you can convert me over a cup of coffee sometime?”

Instantly there was more laughing and after he said that I said, “I don’t think so….” And guess what? He was totally chill about it. We talked a little while longer, shook hands, and parted ways. It was nice. And although our encounter was brief, I’m glad we both were upfront about who we were.

Attracted to each other? Yes. Chemistry? A little. Potential partners in dating? Not necessarily… at least not on my end. 

I believe if more people would just be upfront about who they are, ask questions, and keep it real, then maybe there’d be fewer breakups, wasted time, and less broken hearts out there, and in the process, perhaps more people who are compatible with one another would find their way to each other, connect, and be in more happy, healthy, and successful relationships. 

Yes, it’s a risk to “put yourself out there” and be who you really are but being true to yourself gets you closer to connecting with people and partners whose beliefs, values, and interests align well with yours. It’s not always easy for me to be who I am, and it’s definitely not easy turning down guys I don’t share the same religious or spiritual beliefs with, but I know what’s best for me and want God’s best for me too. 

I’m a Christian woman with standards. And I’m upfront about this and my faith, with any guy I encounter or date who shows interest in me. When it comes to dating, I want to be with a guy who’s a Christian who has standards too. And when I say Christian, I mean Christian. And not an “I’m not religious, I’m just like a, um, really spiritual person…” Christian, or only go to church on Easter Sunday Christian, or a part-time Christian, or a guy who I have to convert – conversion is something that should be done on one’s own and not anything that’s forced or approached manipulatively. I just want a Christian guy who is seriously down for the Lord, still knows how to have a good time, has good standards and has his stuff together… or at least actively working towards having his stuff together. That’s not to say I’m checking for perfection (there’s no such thing) or a Christian guy who’s preachy and obnoxious and out-of-control with his unprogressive political views, either. I stay far away from those types – and highly encourage other women to take cover from them too. 

Quality Christian guys do exist, and maybe one day, when the time is right, we’ll cross paths. In the meantime, I’ll just be doing my thing. Living the bachelorette life, and of course, still attending church on Sunday mornings. 

Don’t be afraid to be upfront about who you are. It’s worth the risk. 


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