Skip to main content

Bachelorette Guide To Coexisting With Couples

I was the only single woman in the room. I talked with couples, smiled at babies, browsed through my phone, and then made my exit. I was at a surprise birthday party for one of my friends, who happens to be married. Her husband reached out to a bunch of us to gather for a small celebration for her birthday. And while in the past, I’d usually avoid these kinds of events, I decided to show up and celebrate my friend. Sometimes some single women get anxious, insecure, or annoyed being amongst those who are coupled off. And I get it. I used to be the same way until I learned how to coexist with couples. I’m no expert, as I’m still navigating this, but I do have some pointers for single bachelorettes trying to find their way in and through the world of couples…

Relax. Being single in the world can be fun for some and daunting for others. But one of the best things you can do is relax and own your current status. Being single can be awesome! And the freedom that comes with it is an incredible blessing. Trust. Your attitude and perspective about your singleness are what makes the difference. You don’t have a reason to be insecure or feel threatened. Especially when it comes to the status of your love life. The couples you might think are judging you or wondering why you’re single, may not care nearly as much as you do. Just be yourself and relax.  

Be Confident. When you know who you are, you just know. Some people (especially some overstepping and annoying but well-meaning couples) may sometimes make thoughtless comments regarding your singleness, try to set you up with someone they know (who you have zero interest in), and inquire about your relationship status, but be confident with who you are. Confidence is attractive. Be confident with the way you dress, speak, carry yourself, and how you want to be received by others. I once attended a wedding alone and was nervous to go without having a date. But I moved through my fears and happily arrived at the wedding and still had a good time. 

Engage. If you’re heading out to any event, especially one that may involve a lot of couples, be prepared to socialize. Naturally, I’m a quiet person, but I don’t allow that to be an excuse to be standoffish or rude. Talk to people. Some couples are inviting and totally chill. Most of the couples I’ve met looooove showing me pictures of themselves with their significant others, or photos of their newborn babies, or their fur babies, or the new home they’re purchasing and renovating, or enjoy reminding me about how lucky I am to be single 😄. And some super chill couples sometimes have eligible, attractive, and quality single friends they may want to introduce you to, so, why not take them up if interested? Singles can coexist with couples and have a good time. Relax, maintain your confidence, and engage. You’ve got this. 


Popular posts from this blog

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

Twenty Pieces Of Advice & Wisdom For The Twenty-Something Women Of The World

Years ago, a friend of mine asked me for advice regarding a life change she was considering. She explained her situation and shared, “I wanted to talk to you because you give really good advice.” I was flattered and surprised by her statement. Mostly because while I’ve been approached by family, friends, colleagues, different students I teach, and sometimes even strangers who have asked me for advice regarding whatever it was they happened to bring my way, some haven’t always listened and then proceeded to make regretful decisions that could have been avoided if they had listened to what I shared in the first place. And lately, a group that’s heavily been on my heart and mind are women in their twenties.  I’m only 33 but I remember what it was like for my friends and me moving through our twenties. It wasn’t the easiest decade to navigate, and it certainly had its ups and downs, but armed with the experiences, advice, and wisdom I have now, there are definitely things I believe we ...