Almost every workplace has its Regina George’s, Cady Heron’s, and maybe even some Glen Coco’s. These are all characters from the cult classic Mean Girls. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll catch on to this post quickly. If not, watch it. It’s a funny and slightly dark comedy. Anyways, during my time in the working world, I’ve noticed a disturbing occurrence and increase of mean women in the workplace. I’m amazed that this is something that doesn’t seem to escape the world of girls and women. In almost every work setting I’ve been in, I’ve seen women pretend to be cool with different co-workers and trash those same co-workers behind their backs. I’ve also seen different women, younger and older, nastily compete with each other, be cruel and cold, step on others to get ahead, participate in hurtful gossip, take cheap shots at other women, and even make other women cry. This isn’t normal. It’s unacceptable behavior but it’s common. I’ve watched mean women get ahead, and it’s something that’s never sat well with me, however, I’ve also seen what eventually happens to women who continue behaving this way. If you give it time you’ll learn that things usually don’t end well for them. As a young woman in the working world, I aim to be a source of positivity and professionalism, even when it’s been tough to do so. I try keeping three things in mind when it comes to facing mean women in the workplace. See the following tips below:
Observe. I’m a big observer. And usually very focused on whatever it is I’m working on. However, I also pay close attention to the people and things happening around me and recognize that there’s often so much being said that’s not always verbally spoken. Especially behind smiles or ID badges. Don’t be blind. People always reveal themselves if you just pay attention. I’ve gotten sucker punched in different work settings and situations simply because I was naïve and blindly trusted different co-workers and management that didn’t always have my best interest in mind. I learned from those situations and moved forward accordingly. You won’t always be able to avoid getting caught in the crossfire of some work conflicts, but if you pay attention, you can assess who and what to watch out for.
Watch Your Back. Be careful who you talk to and know who can and can’t be trusted. Remember, not everyone has your best interest in mind. I’m a confidant for a lot of people because they know I can be trusted to keep private things quiet. I’ve had handfuls of different female co-workers come to me in tears, angry, hurt, or upset because they talked with another co-worker they trusted with delicate information about work or their personal life. Watch your back and be careful who you open up to and associate with. It’s okay to vibe with different co-workers at work. You should have a level of comradery with people you’re working with. Just make sure that when you talk about non-work-related matters, you keep your chats surface level or on a need-to-know basis. Avoid participating in gossip. And stay away from negative or unproductive conversations that aren’t producing solutions. It’s okay to vent a frustration every now and then but be careful where you do it and with who.
Maintain Your Professionalism. There’s almost always going to be someone at work you don’t like and someone who doesn’t like you. It happens. Especially among women. But don’t let that disrupt your workflow or personal life. Focus on what you get paid to do. You’re not at work to be BFF’s with everyone. It’s cool if you make some friends at that level but if not, never dwell on who you don’t click with and why, or else you’re in for a long and miserable ride. Maintain your professionalism and have good boundaries. If your boss, leadership, or another co-worker says something thoughtless or mean that makes you want to scream, cry, curse, or flip something over, step outside, take a break, brush off what they said or did, and keep it moving. Once you’re calm, communicate if the situation warrants it. And please don’t get on social media and post about who or what got you upset. That’s a reckless move. Be better than that. It won’t always be easy, but don’t compromise your integrity or livelihood because of someone else’s actions or behavior. Their true colors will be found out. You just be the best version of you and keep it moving. Be kind and shine your light. You’ve got this.