I’ve met a lot of single women who feel guilty about putting themselves first. A lot of them allow pressure from their families, friends, jobs, careers, or others to control and dictate how they should live their lives and spend their time. I often challenge that. Unapologetically. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first. It’s not selfish. I believe most single women are some of the most selfless people on the planet. Many are involved in community and volunteer activities, mentorship, occasional stand-in babysitters when available, take care of their parents, donate time and money to good causes, and show up for the other bachelorettes in their lives. And just because you’re single doesn’t mean your time or well-being isn’t important too. Sometimes you should put yourself first. How do you do so?
Say No (Without Explaining Yourself). You can say no to certain requests that demand your time or energy. And you can do so without explaining yourself. I’m still trying to master this because it takes time. I’ve had people with kids and different couples try to make me feel bad or guilty when they’ve asked me to cancel my plans or give my time or energy to what they wanted or needed with no hesitation. I used to feel bad for saying no but noticed that they don’t feel bad about putting me or other single women in awkward positions for demands on our time. So, it’s okay to say no. If someone withdraws from you for doing so, they probably didn’t respect or value your time anyway.
Save The Date. I’m a bachelorette who always has something fun lined up. Whether planned or spontaneous, I prioritize having a good time. I recognize how much better I feel when I’m doing things that make me feel good. And I’m also taking advantage of the fact that I don’t have any kids or a relationship to tend to. I have the luxury to be fully invested and dedicated to myself. Almost every other week, I’ve got dates booked for a workout class with a friend, brunch/lunch/dinner, solo dates, and more. All single women should take full advantage of being single and live it up. If you’re single and have a child/children, secure a babysitter and prioritize taking care of you. Set aside time for some fun.
Just Do It. There won’t (and rarely is) a perfect time to do all that you want to do. Whether it be taking a trip, buying a pair of impractical but fabulous shoes, going on some dates, or saying yes to something spontaneous, whatever it is you want to do or experience, just do it. Life is short and time waits for no one. One weekend, a friend and I drove out of town to visit a gorgeous sunflower field in the area and the sunflowers were flushed because of some recent bad weather. We were slightly bummed but decided to stay in the town we drove to and had a mini adventure exploring the local sites. Be okay going with the flow sometimes. I’ve struggled with this but as I’m getting older, I’m learning to just go with the flow of fun. It’s a great opportunity to put yourself first and live your best life. What are you waiting for?