Bittersweet. It’s the first word that comes to mind when I think about what this year’s been like. While there were a lot of things that happened, both good and bad, I’ve narrowed my reflections down to eighteen truths and lessons that have been enlightening, hard to process at times, and at the same time, some much-needed revelations I needed to grasp as this year progressed. This year I’ve learned…
· Let your yes be yes and your no be no – see Matthew 5:37. Don’t beat around the bush.
· Listen to your body. If something feels off or doesn’t sit right with you, go see a physician and don’t put it off. Your health comes first.
· You can reinvent yourself. Really, you can. And have fun with it.
· It’s okay to not be okay. No one has it “all together” all the time. It’s okay to be vulnerable enough to admit when you’re feeling sad or disappointed or down or defeated or weary. Know when to ask for help.
· You can live right, work hard, be good, stay out of trouble, and do your best and have a lot of unfair things happen to you and people you care about. This can gradually build resentment and mistrust but if you can help it, don’t let this truth break your spirit down too badly. Good things can still happen to you.
· Not everyone you meet or encounter means well. Even if they pretend to at first. Everyone has an angle or a motive. Always.
· When you need help or are in distress or pain and people you reach out to turn away, ignore you, insult you, and are dismissive, don’t go to them for help anymore. They won’t be useful or helpful when you’re in need. Find help from people who care about you. Because you matter.
· As a Christian woman, you can do what you’re supposed to be doing and live how you’re supposed to be living and still not get a love story with a happy ending. Not every woman is called to marriage or will get married (or stay married in some cases) so instead of wasting time praying for a husband or a ring or obsessing over a Pinterest board full of wedding ideas or thinking settling down is something you’re supposed to do, pivot, think big, and begin building your own version of what you want a happy ending to look like. Aim high and envision different things that better suit you. You may be pleasantly surprised.
· Life is too short to remain in relationships you’ve outgrown. It’s okay to let go and walk away from anyone who brings unnecessary pain, stress, or drama to your life.
· You can distance yourself from negativity.
· It’s important to have fun sometimes. Make time for it. It’s not healthy to be all work and no play.
· A title doesn’t make you something you’re not. Know who you are so you don’t get caught in an identity crisis.
· If you’re single, you don’t have to date or entertain anyone you’re not truly interested in. Get out of the way and let the other person be with someone who’s truly interested in them. “You should just take what you can get…” is some of the most insulting and misguided advice I’ve ever heard. It’s bogus.
· Don’t settle. No matter how much people who’ve settled try to convince you to. Waiting for what you want can be challenging and frustrating at times but hang in there before you consider settling.
· Don’t announce (or post) everything on social media. You don’t want to give haters an opening to crap on your happiness.
· It’s important to manage your emotions as best as possible. You can’t always trust or make wise decisions led by feelings.
· Don’t shrink because of criticism. If people are criticizing you, they’re paying attention.
· Whatever it is that you want to do, say, create, or convey – get to the point. Don’t waste your time or anyone else’s. Time is non-refundable.
Enjoy the rest of this year. Make 2019 a great one. And keep making waves.