Skip to main content

Everybody Messes Up

I’ve made mistakes, messed up, and done a handful of stupid things. I believe at one point or another, everyone has. It’s just important to learn from bad decisions and do your best to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again. I recently had a conversation with my mother about some poor decisions I made in my early twenties, how badly I felt about them, and how I could have handled things better. After listening, she casually responded, “Well, those things you did aren’t uncommon for someone in their twenties.” She didn’t judge me. Condemn me. Or make me feel ashamed. I’m massively blessed to have two great parents who’ve loved me unconditionally even when I’ve messed up. If you have parents or a parent or parental figure who loves you the same way, you’re blessed. Don’t take them for granted. I used to be the kind of Christian that prided myself on walking a straight and narrow path. Striving for perfection and being labeled or perceived as a perfectionist from different people really got me going. As long as I didn’t mess up too badly or was involved with anything or anyone wild and paid my tithes and went to church on a regular basis and committed to serving others and went to worship services and smiled and said and did the right things and played the role of being a good Christian girl who rarely, if ever, got caught up, I really believed I was doing things the “right way.” That kind of thinking and mindset is unhealthy and can be problematic for anyone. Especially a Christian. It’s also arrogant and can set the stage for some epic, humiliating, and humbling downfalls. The right things I did weren’t bad, but my heart wasn’t always in the right place. Doing good things and good works and being a good person doesn’t mean much if your heart isn’t in the right place. I was fine as long as I wasn’t messing up. Until… I started messing up. And whenever I made a mistake, messed up, or did something dumb I’d lay low for a bit and be filled with shame, guilt, and embarrassment. What. Were. You. Thinking… has been the opening line to a lot of my introspection. One of the things I love about God is that He too loves us all unconditionally. No matter how badly any of us messes up. Because truthfully? We’ve all messed up and fallen short and have received grace and many chances we didn’t deserve. With another year upon us, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that everyone messes up and to not only learn from our mistakes but to forgive ourselves, forgive others, take accountability for our actions, and not be so quick to judge. Learn something from your mistakes and the areas you’ve messed up and make a decision to improve and do better, so you don’t keep having setbacks and going through the same things over and over again. And don’t keep making excuses for your mess ups and bad behavior either. You will mess up and make mistakes because guess what? You’re a human being, not a perfectionist. But again, aim to improve and do better because you can. One step at a time. One day at a time. You’ve got this. 
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...
Read more

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...
Read more

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace.       As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken t...
Read more