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Apprehension

In the past when I’ve been approached by guys outside my race, I’ve frozen. A lot. I’m usually flattered but at the same time, surprised and abruptly filled with apprehension. Boatloads of apprehension. This isn’t normal. After all, what if God sends guys my way I didn’t have in mind? He tends to do things way beyond human understanding, and often in my case, way outside of comfort zones and limited thinking. Much of my apprehension being approached by guys outside my race has internally prompted the following questions:
Am I some “trend” he’s interested in trying?  Sadly, there are some guys who are only interested in black women because they think it’s trendy or cool being with one. Interesting, isn’t it? 
Am I betraying my own race or “selling out” by not exclusively being with someone who’s black too?
How will the conversations go when it’s time for us to discuss race, culture, politics, religion, spiritually, and black hair? – For black women, the topic of black women’s hair can be sensitive and complicated and lengthy and wildly informative for “unwoke” and inquiring minds. 
How will things go meeting each other’s families should things get serious?
How will things go meeting each other’s friends should things get serious?
Is he strong enough to show up and lean on whenever someone challenges or disapproves of us seeing each other or being together? 
I’m attracted and open to all kinds of guys. Although there have been many assumptions about me having a specific type, I don’t. I like em’ Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, mixed, whatever. Variety is the spice of life. I know a lot of black women who complain about being single and believe that there aren’t any good or available guys in the world, yet, continue to stay within their own race with dating. If you only limit yourself to dating exclusively within your own race, you decrease the chances of meeting someone who may love to have a chance getting to know you, who might actually be a great match. I love and appreciate black men, but I’m not limited to strictly dating within my own race. However, a lot of my apprehensions with getting approached by guys outside my race has stalled things. Some of the guys who’ve been on the other end of approaching me may have thought I was just disinterested or odd or already spoken for when I’d smile and nod as they talked, and I mostly stayed quiet or pulled back with no explanation, when really, all the questions listed above were running through my mind. Now, I just try to relax and breathe. Engage and enjoy. Even flirt back a little. My apprehensions have been based on some of my upbringing, limited thinking, some unpleasant encounters I’ve had, along with some painful past experiences, but the past doesn’t have to dictate the future. You never know who’ll end up checking for you and what can happen if you just chill, quit overthinking, change the way you think, and just go with it. See what happens. 
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