When Mary's boyfriend revealed he was gay, it turned her world upside down. She was distraught at first, but later believed she got a sign from Jesus to do what she could to help him. She tenaciously aimed to straighten things out. She did some research, sought counsel from some Christian friends, and decided the only way to fix her relationship was to offer her boyfriend her virginity.
She firmly believed Jesus led her to this decision. But it came with serious consequences…
Her boyfriend was still gay. When his parents found out, they sent him to a center that fixed fallen Christians. When she revealed this news to her friends they didn't take it too well. In fact, like most Christians, they made offensive remarks, distasteful comments, and gossiped about what happened instead of being there for their friend. And on top of everything, Mary later found out she was pregnant.
It was her senior year of high school. Her boyfriend was being sent away. And she was going to be a teenage mother. Her world was falling apart…
This story is from a 2004 comedy called Saved! The film is a combination of drama and humorous Christian hypocrisy at its best. It's hilarious and thought-provoking because although it's just a movie, a lot of the ways it portrays the behavior of Christians in these situations is right on track. If you've never seen the film I won't reveal how it ends, but it's definitely worth seeing. There are deeper messages in it that go beyond sexual orientation, religion and spirituality, and the incredible man we call Jesus. And if you watch it, pay very close attention to Mandy Moore's character, Hilary Faye. Know any Christians who behave that way? I bet you do. I enjoyed Mandy Moore as Jamie Sullivan in A Walk to Remember, so seeing her play a role like Hilary Faye was interesting.
What was also interesting in Saved!, was that one of Mary's classmates wasn't surprised to learn her boyfriend was gay. While others criticized the situation, one person in her entourage very calmly pointed out that there were obvious signs that this could happen. Now knowing that one would wonder, "Then why did Mary keep dating him?" The film indicates she believed Jesus told her to do so, however, I've known some young men and women who ended up, dating and/or marrying someone they had an inkling was gay and decided to proceed with the relationship anyway, only later to have their lives complicated. Even after their gut told them to pause or when a family member or close friend prompted them to reevaluate the relationship. Some of these young men and women moved forward and continuously wrestled with the fact that their significant others were struggling with their sexuality or living a closeted lifestyle, which led to some painful breakups and self-esteem issues for each person involved.
If someone or something doesn't seem right or feel right to you, it’s probably because it's not right for you. Get to the bottom of that feeling. I've encountered Christians and non-Christians who were lying about their sexuality because of shame and got another person (or people) involved and complicated their lives in ways the person that liked, loved, dated, married, or had children with them didn't sign up for. On the other side of that, some Christians and non-Christians who end up in those situations willfully choose not to notice warning signs. They choose to go blind to the obvious and believe that they have the power to change someone. All of us are capable of being blinded by love. But you can’t allow love to make you foolish, either. Your intuition, the Holy Spirit, and different people in your life who may be able to catch things you're blinded to because of love can be great guides. They typically won’t steer you wrong. Mary’s story was complicated but shed the light on different issues in Christian communities that can’t continue being ignored. It’s about time we have these kinds of conversations.