In the black community, there's a huge stigma about mental health issues and seeking professional help to resolve those issues. A lot of black people, and especially Christians, think that just going to church, letting things work out on their own, and keeping everything completely to themselves is a great fix instead of medication or professional help in the form of counseling. There's usually an “I don’t want everyone all in my business”, “I’m not crazy” or “What happens in this house stays in this house” mindset, and a lot of Christians feel they have an obligation to be okay 24/7, which is unrealistic and a front. And I'm writing from the experience of someone who, in the past, hasn't been okay, functioning fine on the outside while struggling inside. When I knew I needed help, I actively sought professional counseling and was able to get better. I’m a supporter of seeking professional help if and when needed. It’s almost impossible to be your own physician when it comes to your own mental health challenges and issues, and I wish more people understood that. It’s okay to not be okay. Seeking professional help doesn’t make you crazy, it makes you smart. You don’t have to go through things alone. Four years ago, I struggled with depression and anxiety. I felt like things were falling apart so badly that I barely wanted to leave the house or be around anyone. Although I was struggling, deep down I knew it wasn’t God’s will for me to live my life that way. Eventually, I’d have to snap out of it. And step by step, I did. Along with going to counseling, I also attended regular prayer meetings at my church, intentionally set aside time to read God’s word, carefully and obediently weeded different people out of my life who were not good for me to be around, and during that time, I read an incredible book by Joyce Meyer, titled Battlefield of the Mind – which really helped. I recognize my experience may be minor compared to what others have been through, and honestly, I used to judge people who struggled with things like anxiety and depression. My mindset was why don’t they just get over it? But it’s rarely if ever that simple. Things can be complicated. Life can be complicated. And in extreme cases, some people who need help may need medication in addition to counseling and that’s okay too. No matter what your race is, your mental health is important and is something to take seriously. If you need help, seek it. And never feel so afraid or ashamed that you keep your issues bottled up to the point where you're isolated and going through things alone. You're likely not the only one struggling with something and you’d be amazed to find others (even people you’d never imagine) are working through their own issues too and getting help. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...