It's none of your business how God decides to bless someone else. Yet, many of us make it our business the moment we get salty, throw shade, or hate on someone else we perceive has a much better life than our own or envy what they have. Whether it be someone else's accomplishments, accolades, a promotion, significant other, family, friends, vacations, options, pets, education, career, income, freedom, car, house, computer, phone, or anything else you can think of that you don't have in your own life or want, the moment you don't give someone else their props or negatively comment or criticize what they've got (that has nothing to do with you) then, my dear reader, I'm afraid you're probably a hater. It happens to the best of us. Now, let me note. Not liking someone or something doesn't classify you as a hater, but when you focus too much on the someone or something you don't like or covet what others have, you're surfing on hater waves. I've struggled with this myself so I know what it looks like when it happens. Game always recognizes game, right? One of the harsh realities of life is that you can live right, do right, and be one of the kindest, giving, sacrificing, honorable, and most loving human beings on the planet and still get screwed over and overlooked. Even if you’re a Christian. And even if you’re not. I've pleaded with God, prayed for forgiveness, wished others well, and still wrestled with questions like, "Why them and why not me?" Along with plenty of pity-parties that started and ended with, "It's not fair" on repeat. I don't think like that anymore, because it benefits no one and I don't want the label "hater" attached to my name. Ever. The good thing is, you can cope with disappointment and do something about being a hater. First, you must identify the signs. And the signs of any hater are as follows…
· You Don't Celebrate Others – How do you react or respond when someone else has good news? Do you congratulate them or stay quiet? There will always be times and seasons where it appears and feels as if other people are passing you by. We can thank social media for enhanced versions of that. But, your time will come. Be patient. I know that's easier said than done (I truly, deeply understand how challenging that can be. In my own family and group of friends I've almost always been the "last" one or overlooked when it's come to a lot of different things.) But when someone else is winning, getting a promotion, finishing a degree, working on another degree, getting engaged, married, having a baby, going on an adventure in another country, or living their best life, I’m celebrating them! You should too. When your time comes, you're going to want some love and support coming your way and you're going to need it, because, there'll be people hating on you when it’s your turn to be blessed. Believe that.
· You're Blinded By Envy – Think about someone you've ever been jealous of and just the surface things you see and know about them. Now, think about the struggles, disappointments, losses, setbacks, and behind-the-scenes things they've been through that you know nothing about and would likely be shocked to learn. Every massively blessed or successful person I know has had some behind-the-scenes struggles I couldn't believe or imagine enduring myself. Believe it or not, there are people who are low-key hating on you, without any knowledge of your back story. Which is why it makes zero sense to be a hater. I don't want anyone or anything in my life that's not meant for me. You shouldn’t either. Trust that what God has for you is for you.
· You're Ungrateful – Took a good look at your life. Then reflect on where you were, perhaps, five years ago. Even a year ago. See a difference? You should. There's always a process that each of us is going through, and some are managing that better than others. You're more blessed than you may realize. If you're grateful for what you've got, you have everything you need. I'm not suggesting you stop aspiring to have more and better yourself, but before you do, always ask yourself why? Examining your motives will reveal that what you want isn’t always what you need. Complaining about what you don't have will likely solidify that you won't have what you want anytime soon. Gratitude can open your eyes to a lot of things you may be overlooking. Don't be ungrateful for what you don't have or haven't accomplished. Your beginning, middle, and end will look significantly different from someone else's. Which is also why you must be careful about comparisons. It's unhealthy and unwise. I hope you know how blessed you are, because, the fact that you're able to read this right now lets me know some things about you (you have eyes to see, understanding to read, a piece of technology, and an appreciation for brilliant writing and blogging J) That's more than what some other people have right now. Don't be a hater. You're far too classy and cool for that.