“I just thought this was the end for me,” she said. I told her, “It’s just the beginning.” She was 25 and trying to go back to school. In the midst of her college comeback, she was delayed and unable to start when she wanted to. No one was helping her and she needed help and wasn’t receiving it. I could hear the hunger and tenacity in her voice and I wanted to see this girl win. I can remember being in the same place she was when I was 25. Trying to make a comeback into college. And many people in my life were discouraging about my decision to return to school. I would later learn that sometimes, when you step out to accomplish your goals and dreams, others may be jealous or even threatened that you have the courage to go for what you want despite setbacks and struggles. Especially if they’ve chosen not to progress in their own lives and remain mediocre. I had a choice. Stay small and regret not finishing school or go back and finish. I choose to finish. All while specifically being told the following:
· “You might want to consider getting your Associates, you’re getting older.”
· “You’re a grown woman. No one’s going to help you.”
· “Don’t let anyone talk you into going back to school. Can you handle it again?”
· “What can you do with a degree in English?” (This question is often asked with apprehension. But who do people think is responsible for all the music, movies, shows, screenplays, and books that entertain us? Writers, duh. And they make a lot of money doing what they love. Writers not only get jobs, they build careers.)
· “You should try to finish by the time you’re 25.”
When I spoke with my academic advisor at the time about how long it’d take for me to earn my B.A., she said three years. I was in tears. I’d already been in and out of a different university and a community college. I had some credits under my belt but needed more. In three years I’d be 28. To me, that was old. I’d miss out on all the other milestones my family and friends were experiencing because I was in school. I thought it was “the end” for me. And while I did get my degree, I had to fight for it. Tenaciously. And I was stressed. I juggled three part-time jobs, maintained a decent GPA, took five courses at a time during one semester (and sometimes one course at a time depending on my financial situation), fought with family, fought with friends, and even fought my own doubts, fears, and insecurities. But by the grace of God, I made it. And I told the young woman if God did it for me He could do it for her too. What she deemed an ending, I saw as a beginning. I believe a lot of millennials’ struggle with their age and wanting to hit certain milestones instantly (I blame social media and the fake “overnight” stars and success stories out there) and should they experience delays, or have to get a new strategy in place, they feel they’ve somehow failed because they didn’t cross things off their lists by their self-imposed timelines. There is no such thing as an overnight success. Millennials, please hear me on this – there is no such thing as an overnight success. Even in this “I want it now”, microwave meal, Amazon Prime overnight shipping, façade of instant gratification and success, great things still take time. Let things marinate and have patience with the process. I continually had to learn that. And if your fears, insecurities, or reservations are rooted in “getting older” think of it this way. If you’re 30 and going back to school and it’s going to take four years to complete your undergrad degree, you’re going to turn 34 anyway. Why not turn 34 and have the degree too? By the time my conversation with this young woman ended, she went from crying to laughing. I could tell her spirit was lifting. “It’s going to be okay,” I told her. She has a promising future ahead of her and I can’t wait to see how her story unfolds. Don’t ever give up on yourself or your goals and dreams. Have the courage to see things through no matter how long it takes.