Trials and tribulations happen to
the best of us. But if I can keep it real, most of the time, many of us end up
in messes of our own making. Which is why one of the things I find irritating,
frustrating, and sometimes comical, is how some Christians (and occasionally
non-Christians) retreat to the excuse that the “enemy” is attacking them or
that it’s the enemy’s fault that they’re going through what they’re going
through. But before you blame the enemy for your issues, let’s take some
inventory of your choices, shall we? I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve made plenty of dumb decisions. I mean, really
dumb. Stupid dumb. So dumb, that at the time I was convinced I was making sound
decisions only because I convinced
myself I was, even when there was so much evidence practically screaming, “What
in the world is wrong with you, stupid?” Now that I’ve shared that, dear
readers, please understand, it’s not the enemy’s fault when you do things like
overspend or mishandle financial provisions God’s blessed you with, irresponsibly
live beyond your means, recklessly handle credit cards, and end up in mounting
amounts of debt. It’s also not the enemy’s fault when you date, marry, or have
kids with a lousy significant other, who truthfully, in sooooo many ways,
likely showed you exactly who they were before you committed to them, but you
chose to ignore your instincts and those little red flags all of us are capable
of seeing, but instead, choose to overlook because we catch “feelings” for
someone or lust for them and call it love, and even worse, fail to check in
with God before committing to the person in the first place (because of our
egos and because we care more about what everyone else thinks, even when we
know deep down to our core the person we chose isn’t right for us) but we rebelliously
choose them anyway, and then, we blame the enemy. Because our choices are his
fault, right? But I want to lead you to deliverance on this day. I want to help
set you free and lovingly let you know, it’s
not the devil, it’s probably you. Some of what you’re going through are
consequences from decisions you made. Take responsibility for your choices.
Stop blaming everyone else. Stop blaming the enemy. And take a long, hard look
in the mirror and reevaluate the choices that got you into the messes you’re in
or have been in. It won’t be easy. I know. I too have had to look at myself and
a number of stupid things I’ve done and intentionally decide to make better
choices. Romans 8:28 reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the
good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” God
can still help us recover from our bad choices, but at some point, I believe He
allows us to sit in our messes for a season until we finally “get it.”
Sometimes, we give the enemy far too much credit. It’s time to grow up.
I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...