Don’t Let The Bougie (or Christianity) Fool You

I used to get upset whenever someone called me bougie. Now? I take it as a compliment. Especially since most of the time the word has been used towards me with the intent to be insulting. The Urban Dictionary definition of bougie describes bougie as “aspiring to be a higher class than one is…” Bougie is also often associated with words like “fancy”, “uppity”, and “classy”, all of which I’ve been called a handful of times. I’m also a Christian. Because of those two things, along with the fact that I’m a kind human being, are misconceptions that I’m “too nice” and won’t stand my ground, along with having the authenticity of my blackness constantly questioned. Ridiculous as it is, I’ve been dealing with these things for awhile. However, don’t let the bougie or Christianity fool you. Truthfully, I am a little bougie. I like nice things, enjoy being cultured, educated, and opening myself up to different and higher experiences and I sometimes wish my fellow brothers and sisters of color were just as open without being judgmental and standoffish about things. I can fellowship with the Lord all week and enjoy an HBCU step show. I can clock into the office and turn up after hours. I can vibe to John Mayer and shuffle my playlist with some Drake and Kendrick Lamar, and still worship and praise the Lord with some Fred Hammond and throwback music from the Winans family. I can appreciate and date black men as well as different men from all kinds of racial backgrounds and ethnicities. I can rock my natural locks and still switch up with braids and sew-ins. I can read F. Scott Fitzgerald and still quote episodes from the 90s hit series (and one of my all-time favorites) Martin. I’m still an authentic black woman who deals with the same ups, downs, trials, challenges, prejudices and racism that my other brothers and sisters of color deal with on a regular basis. Being bougie, Christian, well educated, highly qualified, chosen, intelligent, or attractive doesn't change that reality. I won't forget where I came from but I also won't lose sight of where I'm going. There's an enormous world out there waiting to be explored and it's only as small or large as you decide to perceive it. The choice is yours.

A Year Of Being Ghosted

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About six to be exact. · The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. · The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and exchanged occasional texts, but eventually he stopped responding to me

Teacher Table Talk: When Parents Attack

As an English teacher, a core belief I’ve held close since the beginning of my career has been the importance of relationship building. I believe that if great relationships between teachers, students, and parents are established at the beginning of the school year, everything else will fall into place. Authentically modeling, practicing, and establishing mutually respectful and professional relationships within my classroom has been the bridge for effective communication, solid classroom management, and creating a safe and effective learning environment that fits each of my student’s needs. And though I’ve seen and experienced the benefits of great relationship building, unfortunately, there have been times when some students and parents have not been receptive or interested in my efforts to establish connections that would best serve all parties involved. I’ve also noticed and shared spaces with other educators, school counselors, and administrators who’ve experienced the same. And

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace. As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken things too far

Making Waves