I used to get upset whenever someone called me bougie. Now? I take it as a compliment. Especially since most of the time the word has been used towards me with the intent to be insulting. The Urban Dictionary definition of bougie describes bougie as “aspiring to be a higher class than one is…” Bougie is also often associated with words like “fancy”, “uppity”, and “classy”, all of which I’ve been called a handful of times. I’m also a Christian. Because of those two things, along with the fact that I’m a kind human being, are misconceptions that I’m “too nice” and won’t stand my ground, along with having the authenticity of my blackness constantly questioned. Ridiculous as it is, I’ve been dealing with these things for awhile. However, don’t let the bougie or Christianity fool you. Truthfully, I am a little bougie. I like nice things, enjoy being cultured, educated, and opening myself up to different and higher experiences and I sometimes wish my fellow brothers and sisters of color were just as open without being judgmental and standoffish about things. I can fellowship with the Lord all week and enjoy an HBCU step show. I can clock into the office and turn up after hours. I can vibe to John Mayer and shuffle my playlist with some Drake and Kendrick Lamar, and still worship and praise the Lord with some Fred Hammond and throwback music from the Winans family. I can appreciate and date black men as well as different men from all kinds of racial backgrounds and ethnicities. I can rock my natural locks and still switch up with braids and sew-ins. I can read F. Scott Fitzgerald and still quote episodes from the 90s hit series (and one of my all-time favorites) Martin. I’m still an authentic black woman who deals with the same ups, downs, trials, challenges, prejudices and racism that my other brothers and sisters of color deal with on a regular basis. Being bougie, Christian, well educated, highly qualified, chosen, intelligent, or attractive doesn't change that reality. I won't forget where I came from but I also won't lose sight of where I'm going. There's an enormous world out there waiting to be explored and it's only as small or large as you decide to perceive it. The choice is yours.
About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...