Despite any low or limited expectations
different people in my life had in mind for me, I’ve managed not to settle. Although
I know many who’ve settled, I never will. I have family who’ve settled.
Friends. Acquaintances. And more. My refusal to settle in any area of my life
has certainly caused doubts, fears, frustrations, uneasiness, challenges, and
has required heavy patience on my end, however, I can’t bring myself to grow
comfortable with accepting less and be content with doing so. That’s not me and
I’ll accept nothing less. Because even when people tell me I should do things
like, settle for guys I’m not attracted to or even like because they say I’m
“getting older” and that “the older you get the harder it’ll be to meet
someone…”, or to do online dating because people don’t meet people in person
anymore, or to live with my parents instead of getting my own bachelorette pad,
or to not browse an open house because I can’t “afford” to be a homeowner, or
stay put and not travel and see more of this world, or to not pursue an English
degree and settle for an Associate’s degree because a four year B.A. would take
too long to complete, or that my writing is not “ready” to be shared with the
world, or that I should remain at one job for the long haul for stability instead
of aiming towards my dreams, I’ve heard all these things and yet, I continue to
have faith, hope, and substance for things that appear out of reach that remain
in my heart and spirit. Hebrews 11:1 reads, “Now faith is being sure of what we
hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Sometimes it’s tough, difficult, and
discouraging but I won’t be a causality of settling. No one should. Even if you
have to work harder, wait longer, fight for what you want, make different arrangements,
cut people out of your life -- even well-meaning ones that continue to be
discouraging, make new friends, date new people, start over, and shuffle some
things around, you should never be okay with settling. I can testify that God’s
shown me big things that will happen in my life and I’m looking forward to collaborating
with Him and proving so many people wrong in the process. Family. Friends. And
anyone else who’s ever insisted I do something as ridiculous as settling.
Unlike settlers, I have the courage to hold out for the best. Do you?
I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...