Despite any low or limited expectations
different people in my life had in mind for me, I’ve managed not to settle. Although
I know many who’ve settled, I never will. I have family who’ve settled.
Friends. Acquaintances. And more. My refusal to settle in any area of my life
has certainly caused doubts, fears, frustrations, uneasiness, challenges, and
has required heavy patience on my end, however, I can’t bring myself to grow
comfortable with accepting less and be content with doing so. That’s not me and
I’ll accept nothing less. Because even when people tell me I should do things
like, settle for guys I’m not attracted to or even like because they say I’m
“getting older” and that “the older you get the harder it’ll be to meet
someone…”, or to do online dating because people don’t meet people in person
anymore, or to live with my parents instead of getting my own bachelorette pad,
or to not browse an open house because I can’t “afford” to be a homeowner, or
stay put and not travel and see more of this world, or to not pursue an English
degree and settle for an Associate’s degree because a four year B.A. would take
too long to complete, or that my writing is not “ready” to be shared with the
world, or that I should remain at one job for the long haul for stability instead
of aiming towards my dreams, I’ve heard all these things and yet, I continue to
have faith, hope, and substance for things that appear out of reach that remain
in my heart and spirit. Hebrews 11:1 reads, “Now faith is being sure of what we
hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Sometimes it’s tough, difficult, and
discouraging but I won’t be a causality of settling. No one should. Even if you
have to work harder, wait longer, fight for what you want, make different arrangements,
cut people out of your life -- even well-meaning ones that continue to be
discouraging, make new friends, date new people, start over, and shuffle some
things around, you should never be okay with settling. I can testify that God’s
shown me big things that will happen in my life and I’m looking forward to collaborating
with Him and proving so many people wrong in the process. Family. Friends. And
anyone else who’s ever insisted I do something as ridiculous as settling.
Unlike settlers, I have the courage to hold out for the best. Do you?
About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...