Skip to main content

Sorry Not Sorry

I don’t always respond to calls or text messages immediately.
I’m not obsessed with having a man in my life, getting married, or having kids.
I enjoy solitude and would rather be alone or with a small group of people than a huge squad.
I’m bold and outspoken in my faith as a Christian.
I enjoy saving money and don’t like wasting or overspending it.
I’m into books, reading, and watching movies. And enjoy those things much more than going out.  
I’d rather say “no” to things I have no interest in without guilt, apology, or an explanation. And I’m no longer apologizing for any of these things. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Here’s why…
I don’t always respond to calls or text messages immediately because… unplugging is peaceful and necessary. A lot of people confide in me and come to me with their problems on a regular basis. I don’t think a lot of people get how heavy that weighs on me sometimes, which is why I stay away from my phone a lot. I’m one of those rare millennials’ that isn’t addicted to my smart phone, and it often resides in my purse or inside my nightstand. These days, people have far too many ways to access each other and while I don’t mind technology, lending a helping hand, or being a listening ear, protecting my peace is a priority. Plus, my time is better spent being present and not glued to a glowing screen.
I’m not obsessed with having a man in my life, getting married, or having kids. I’ve been called cold because of this, but having a different outlook doesn’t make me cold. I know my life and any woman’s life is much bigger than a man, marriage, and having children. It’s not that I don’t want those things, but I believe they’re often overly celebrated and that we as a society are failing if we’re raising girls to place their value in being defined by relationship status, oversharing, and overspending on frivolous weddings and gender reveals, ultimately culturally conditioning them to believe that men, marriage, and having children are a high measure of success. If I ever have a daughter (by birth or adoption) one of the first things I intend for her to learn early is that this world is bigger than having a man, marriage, or children, and that if she chooses not to pursue those things, I will love and support her regardless. I will never pressure or make her think that she has to choose those things or that something’s wrong with her if she doesn’t. Before experiencing any of those things, ideally, I’d like her, and any up and coming generations of young ladies, to pursue God wholeheartedly and to be a whole woman who has lived her own life first, while taking full advantage of the opportunity to pursue her purpose, passions, an education, career, financial independence, and exploring different cultures and travel opportunities.  
I enjoy solitude and would rather be alone or with a small group of people than a huge squad because… I hear God. My clarity is on point. And my intuition is lit. I need time alone. I also prefer quality over quantity when it comes to relationships and would rather spend my time with uplifting people than with draining, demanding, or needy ones. Again, this all goes back to the importance of protecting my peace.
I’m bold and outspoken in my faith as a Christian because… I love the Lord! He gave me life and purpose. My life is not about me. It’s about allowing Him to use me and any gifts He’s blessed and entrusted to me are ultimately to be used for His glory. He’s my guy and I love that He’s readily available to me 24/7. Some people may get annoyed or offended by my beliefs, the scriptures I share, the stories I write, and the testimonies I’m open with, but who cares? If someone has a problem with any of those things, that’s not my problem. It’s theirs.
I enjoy saving money and don’t like wasting it or overspending. Mishandling money is reckless and I aim to budget, save, and spend as wisely as possible. Financial independence is a priority to me.
I’m into books, reading, and watching movies. And enjoy those things much more than going out. I enjoy getting lost in the world of a great story or film, and these things are relaxing to me. Going out can get expensive, and while I’ll treat myself every now and then, I prefer being indoors (unless it involves the beach J)
I’d rather say “no” to things I have no interest in without guilt, apology, or an explanation. I’m honestly still working on this. People don’t like telling people no or being told no, but I’d rather be honest and say no to something than silently resent someone or something by saying yes, when I’d rather say no. Nobody wins if all parties involved fail to be upfront. Once again, my peace is a protected priority. Which means, “no” will be a necessary and complete sentence sometimes. Sorry, I’m not sorry.



Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

A Taste At Colattao Coffee House

I love checking out new coffee spots. It’s nice to take in a space I haven’t been to before that’s so chill, it makes me want to go back and visit again and again. This is exactly how I felt when I stepped into Colattao Coffee House. The kind customer service, the amazing options, and the aesthetically pleasing décor were everything. The aroma of the freshly grounded coffee beans, along with the sight of their mouth-watering pastries didn’t hurt either. I’ve visited this spot just a few times, and always enjoyed myself, my drinks, and my food. It’s definitely worth the trip. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a cool and cozy spot for a solo outing or to meet up with a friend, I highly recommend checking out Colattao Coffee House sometime. You’ll enjoy it!