Remaining Faithful While Frustrated

Her story was eerily familiar. “I’m not looking down on anyone or anything, but I’m not sleeping around, I pay my tithes, and I know God’s called me to see things through. And I’m dealing with all these demonic attacks and spiritual warfare on my job.” “I understand more than you know,” I replied. I met an incredible woman who was discouraged and frustrated. I knew her pain. I’ve lived it. And some days, I still do. It’s painful remaining faithful while frustrated. I could tell from speaking and praying with this woman that she was tired. She was aiming to live right and thought she wasn’t in place because of the circumstances and opposition she was dealing with. I don’t sleep around but have often been overlooked and passed over for other women who do, who haven’t sacrificed, don’t honor God, do right, or live right who are engaged, married, and starting families. I pay my tithes and give. And see people who don’t, that continue to prosper, even while their money is cursed. And I’ve certainly seen and dealt with wicked spirits taking residence in people in the workplace. Truthfully, what my 28 years on this earth as a young believer continually teaches me is that you can be a Christian that chooses to do things the “right” way and feel like you’re not successful, making much progress, and also feel like you’re getting screwed over in the process. But it doesn’t mean you’re not in place or that you won’t be blessed. God always has strategies in place for your life. I told the woman I spoke with about opposition being an opportunity. When all hell is breaking loose, it’s an indication you’re in place and you’re in a position for God to swoop in and tighten things up. Much of the chaos in your life is controlled in different ways because God’s the one calling the shots. I first learned about this from one of my favorite preachers, T.D. Jakes. I’ll never forget a memorable sermon he preached about opposition being an opportunity. God allows things to happen in our lives and is still in control and faithful, no matter how messed up things look, feel, and happen to be at the moment. Romans 8:28 reads, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to his purpose.” In the midst of the frustration and remaining faithful while frustrated, something inside me compels me to hold on. Even when I have to go through things I don’t like or understand. I only hope that all will be revealed in the process.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves