We would have been a cute couple
but when I met his racist friend, I exited gracefully. And I’m good with that.
I don’t need that stress in my life. I also didn’t want to have a conversation
that went, “Hey, I think you’re great and I like you but your racist friend makes
me very uncomfortable…” Passing on a guy who seemed cool at the moment was
something I wrestled with, but life is too short to wrestle with that kind of
uncertainty. Plus, I couldn’t ignore the confirmed evidence, reservations, and
warnings from people who gave me a heads up. “I don’t know if you want to date
someone white. Because even if he’s not racist, you know some of his family and
friends might be.” I didn’t completely agree with that statement at first, but
I started to wonder. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on. It’s
odd and scary, but truthfully not at all surprising, that race is still an issue
for some people. And while I’m still open to dating across all kinds of racial
lines, I don’t want or need to complicate my life. The silver lining in all
this was catching and cutting things early before anything got too serious. And
just another sign that God has something else better in mind, so all is not
lost. I’ll be just fine.
As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...