I Don’t See A Future With You

Red flags. Instinct. Intuition. They always reveal what’s obvious. Hindsight does too. When I meet a guy it doesn’t take long for me to figure out if he’d be a great match or not. I ask myself important questions, pay close attention, and will eventually ask any guy I’m considering dating or having a future with the following:

Is he a Christian?

Is he single?

How does he take care of himself?

Does he communicate well?

Does he tell too much of his business or is he more reserved?

What’s his relationship like with the Lord, his family, and friends?

What kind of people does he hang out with?

How does he behave on social media and in person?

How does he act when he’s angry, sad, stressed, or disappointed?

How does he act or respond under pressure?

How does he handle money?

Does he pay his bills on time?

Is he employed and able to maintain steady employment?

What’s his work ethic like?

Will he have good boundaries in a relationship? Is he a flirt?

Will he respect me? Can he lead and protect me?

Is he on the down low? Attracted to other men? Has he ever struggled with his sexuality?

Is he boyfriend/husband material?

Can he go without sex before marriage?

Does he want to get married?

Does he have a promiscuous past? Has he been tested for STD’s and would he be willing to take a blood test if we’re engaged and planning to marry?

Is he comfortable talking about sex, boundaries, and expectations if we’re engaged and planning to marry?

Does he care about his health? (Spiritual, physical, and emotional)

Does he have a history of abuse, addiction, cheating, or mental illness? Do the men in his family?

Does he have a criminal record?

Does he have a crazy ex, a child, or kids I don’t know about?

Does he want kids? Would he be cool not having them?

Would I want kids with this person?

Would he make a great father?

What was his childhood like?

What was his relationship like with his own parents?

Has he been separated or divorced before? If so, why?

Does he make plans or is he impulsive?

I believe you know when someone’s a good match for you or not. People will always reveal themselves if you allow them to. Don’t be afraid to ask important questions before dating or committing to anyone. Of course I don’t suggest bombarding someone with all these questions at once, but they should gradually be brought up in conversation. I’ve been guilty of turning a blind eye to red flags and warning signs with different guys, because I got tired of being single and thought I’d end up alone if I didn’t settle and just take who I could get. That’s dangerous and foolish. Trust your instincts and listen to your intuition. Know what you want and don’t want, and understand it’s okay to pass on someone you don’t see a future with. Life is too short to waste time.

A Year Of Being Ghosted

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About six to be exact. · The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. · The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and exchanged occasional texts, but eventually he stopped responding to me

Teacher Table Talk: When Parents Attack

As an English teacher, a core belief I’ve held close since the beginning of my career has been the importance of relationship building. I believe that if great relationships between teachers, students, and parents are established at the beginning of the school year, everything else will fall into place. Authentically modeling, practicing, and establishing mutually respectful and professional relationships within my classroom has been the bridge for effective communication, solid classroom management, and creating a safe and effective learning environment that fits each of my student’s needs. And though I’ve seen and experienced the benefits of great relationship building, unfortunately, there have been times when some students and parents have not been receptive or interested in my efforts to establish connections that would best serve all parties involved. I’ve also noticed and shared spaces with other educators, school counselors, and administrators who’ve experienced the same. And

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace. As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken things too far

Making Waves