Skip to main content

How To Stay Safe On Dates

Dating can be exciting. It’s flattering meeting someone who wants to share their time and company with you. But while it’s great having fun, it’s also important for women to know how to stay safe on dates. Below, I’m sharing five tips on how to stay safe on dates and still have a good time. I hope any young women reading this finds these tips helpful and that any young men reading will be mindful of their boundaries and behavior on dates.
·         Meet Up – During first dates it’s best to meet up in separate vehicles. As much as I believe in old school courting where the guy picks up the girl, these days, you can never be too safe. Not everyone has great intentions – even an attractive and charming guy who could be a low-key creeper. It’s best to meet your date by your own means of transportation while things are still very new and you’re getting to know one another. You might even decide not to see the person again. If you have your own car, you can leave when you want and/or when the date ends.
·         Surroundings – Choosing to go on dates in settings that are heavily populated with other people is smart. I never recommend going to first dates at your dates own home or inviting them to yours. Again, it’s all about safety first. A charming stranger is still a stranger until proven otherwise. Additionally, text a family member and/or friend to let them know you’ll be out with someone new. This is a great thing to do as well, so someone in your inner circle knows what you’re doing and who you’re with.
·         Don’t Give Out Your Personal Address or Workplace Address – I’m amazed at young women who volunteer information to guys they go on different dates with. But because common sense seems to be in short supply these days, please know it’s not wise or safe to give out your home or workplace location to a casual date. Every situation is different, so if things get serious and you and your date become a couple, this may change, but in the beginning be selective about what you’re sharing. And pause on sending out social media follow and friend requests early on. Remember, you’re still getting to know the person you’re dating and while social media can be fun, it’s also a sneak peek into snapshots of your life. Exercise discernment before proceeding with sharing information.  
·         Avoid Alcohol – Having drinks and meeting for drinks isn’t terrible, but doing so can impair your judgment. To avoid being put in a compromising position, I vote no alcohol. You’ll want to be as alert, sober, and as mindful as possible about the kinds of decisions you’re making.
·         If In Doubt, Leave- Again, not everyone has great intentions. If you get weird vibes or start feeling uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to leave the date. And if your date gets upset or offended when you no longer wish to see them or keep in contact anymore, feel free to block their number and keep your distance. Should things get too out of hand? Don’t hesitate to contact the authorities. Unfortunately, some guys don’t handle rejection too well (even when you aim to be polite about it.) Remember, your safety comes first.
I hope these tips will serve you well. Happy dating! J




Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Stop Saying Stupid Stuff To People Who Are Childless

I’m convinced that many people don’t think before they speak. Especially when it comes to interacting with people who don’t have children. Normally, I’ve held my peace with this and felt the need to solely address women when it comes to this topic, but lately this is a message that men can benefit from too. Stop saying stupid stuff to people who don’t have children . I know this might be a difficult task for those of you who are nosey, have concerns that have nothing to do with you, or may be unhappy in your own life, but stop with the questions, jokes, and reckless comments. Even if you believe you’re being funny, making conversation, or coming from a genuine place, you’re honestly out of line. Because someone not having children and why is none of your business. I don’t have children, and I honestly don’t know if I will, but as a woman, I’m good with my life either way. I’ll always be grateful for what I have instead of lamenting about what I don’t. Which is probably why getting olde...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...