Waiting On People? You’ll Miss Out

I used to be the kind of girl that waited on people, before I decided to experience different things. One day something clicked - If I stayed on that same path, I’d miss out and waste away time I’d never get back, waiting on other people to be ready before I decided to try new things, go on adventures, and enjoy the kind of experiences that have collected dust on my vision board (due to waiting on others.)

What. A. Waste. Of. Time.

I’m not shy about going solo with certain things like, going to the movies, going out for a great meal, or taking in local sights and entertainment in my city, but there are other things I’ve always wanted to do that I believed required other people to be along for the ride. I started realizing that if you wait on other people, you’ll miss out. Especially when some of the people you’re waiting on, may decide to go on and have those experiences without you.

Time stops for no one. It’s constantly moving, and I believe if you want different things and experiences to be a part of yours, you have to radically shift your thinking and begin taking active steps to no longer put your life on hold for anyone or anything. Awhile back an acquaintance of mine shared her reservations about purchasing her own home, because she felt her life wasn’t where she thought it’d be at her age (meaning no husband, kids, and family of her own yet.) I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but, I used to have that same mindset, so I understood how she felt. I didn’t hesitate to encourage her to be excited about this incredible moment in her life, though. A bachelorette pad is worthy of celebration! You can do different things on your own terms, without waiting on anyone or anything to be just right. Life is short. Why miss out waiting on others?

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Making Waves