Waiting On People? You’ll Miss Out

I used to be the kind of girl that waited on people, before I decided to experience different things. One day something clicked - If I stayed on that same path, I’d miss out and waste away time I’d never get back, waiting on other people to be ready before I decided to try new things, go on adventures, and enjoy the kind of experiences that have collected dust on my vision board (due to waiting on others.)

What. A. Waste. Of. Time.

I’m not shy about going solo with certain things like, going to the movies, going out for a great meal, or taking in local sights and entertainment in my city, but there are other things I’ve always wanted to do that I believed required other people to be along for the ride. I started realizing that if you wait on other people, you’ll miss out. Especially when some of the people you’re waiting on, may decide to go on and have those experiences without you.

Time stops for no one. It’s constantly moving, and I believe if you want different things and experiences to be a part of yours, you have to radically shift your thinking and begin taking active steps to no longer put your life on hold for anyone or anything. Awhile back an acquaintance of mine shared her reservations about purchasing her own home, because she felt her life wasn’t where she thought it’d be at her age (meaning no husband, kids, and family of her own yet.) I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but, I used to have that same mindset, so I understood how she felt. I didn’t hesitate to encourage her to be excited about this incredible moment in her life, though. A bachelorette pad is worthy of celebration! You can do different things on your own terms, without waiting on anyone or anything to be just right. Life is short. Why miss out waiting on others?

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

Making Waves