The Miseducation of Miss Independent

Girl meets guy. Girl likes guy and guy likes her too. Girl screws things up (and has done so with almost every likable suitor she’s met) by coming out the gate with walls up, waving her independent “I can take care of myself” flag -- loud and proud, being passive instead of communicating her wants and needs clearly, and being too prideful and too much of a coward to let herself be open and vulnerable enough to allow herself to fall in like/love with someone and vice versa, and know while there’s risk for hurt, it’s okay to try again and again, until she meets someone who’s her equal. Because when she least expects it, she could end up with the right person at just the right time. Only first, she must acknowledge why she’s the common denominator in being boyfriendless, decide to change her ways and patterns that aren’t working, and understand that allowing a guy to be a guy and do things for her and feel needed, won’t strip her of her wholeness or cramp her style, and that while it’s great to be in a position where she can handle herself, it’s important to master balance. In fact, as she becomes less standoffish and stops letting her emotions or what her family and friends may think is best for her cloud her decision making, she could intentionally be making steps towards changing the game, which will require getting uncomfortable, unlearning some deep rooted beliefs she once held, and having a new approach to things. Will she finally snag the bae that stays? We’ll see.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace. As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken t...

Making Waves