Girl meets guy. Girl likes guy
and guy likes her too. Girl screws things up (and has done so with almost every
likable suitor she’s met) by coming out the gate with walls up, waving her independent
“I can take care of myself” flag -- loud and proud, being passive instead of
communicating her wants and needs clearly, and being too prideful and too much
of a coward to let herself be open and vulnerable enough to allow herself to
fall in like/love with someone and vice versa, and know while there’s risk for
hurt, it’s okay to try again and again, until she meets someone who’s her
equal. Because when she least expects it, she could end up with the right
person at just the right time. Only first, she must acknowledge why she’s the
common denominator in being boyfriendless, decide to change her ways and
patterns that aren’t working, and understand that allowing a guy to be a guy
and do things for her and feel needed, won’t strip her of her wholeness or
cramp her style, and that while it’s great to be in a position where she can
handle herself, it’s important to master balance.
In fact, as she becomes less standoffish and stops letting her emotions or what her
family and friends may think is best for her cloud her decision making, she
could intentionally be making steps towards changing the game, which will
require getting uncomfortable, unlearning some deep rooted beliefs she once
held, and having a new approach to things. Will she finally snag the bae that
stays? We’ll see.
I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...