The Miseducation of Miss Independent

Girl meets guy. Girl likes guy and guy likes her too. Girl screws things up (and has done so with almost every likable suitor she’s met) by coming out the gate with walls up, waving her independent “I can take care of myself” flag -- loud and proud, being passive instead of communicating her wants and needs clearly, and being too prideful and too much of a coward to let herself be open and vulnerable enough to allow herself to fall in like/love with someone and vice versa, and know while there’s risk for hurt, it’s okay to try again and again, until she meets someone who’s her equal. Because when she least expects it, she could end up with the right person at just the right time. Only first, she must acknowledge why she’s the common denominator in being boyfriendless, decide to change her ways and patterns that aren’t working, and understand that allowing a guy to be a guy and do things for her and feel needed, won’t strip her of her wholeness or cramp her style, and that while it’s great to be in a position where she can handle herself, it’s important to master balance. In fact, as she becomes less standoffish and stops letting her emotions or what her family and friends may think is best for her cloud her decision making, she could intentionally be making steps towards changing the game, which will require getting uncomfortable, unlearning some deep rooted beliefs she once held, and having a new approach to things. Will she finally snag the bae that stays? We’ll see.

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Black Male Athletes And Their Dating Preferences

In the 2017 horror film Get Out , there’s an unforgettable scene when one of the film’s villainous characters, Rose, a young white woman, is seen eating Fruit Loops and drinking a bottle of milk through a straw as she searches the internet for “Top NCAA prospects.” This moment in the film is frightening because the purpose of Rose’s search is to ultimately lure young and unsuspecting Black men to a deadly fate after she begins dating them. If you’ve seen the film, you know how everything ultimately turns out, but if you haven’t, you’ll have a better understanding of the bigger picture. Recently, college football superstar and future NFL prospect, Travis Hunter, became a source of media scrutiny and controversy regarding his relationship with his fiancée, Leanna Lenee. Much of the criticism was around his fiancée and comments she shared about how she wasn’t initially interested in Travis before they started dating. Additionally, she received backlash regarding the couple’s interact...

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Making Waves