Girl meets guy. Girl likes guy
and guy likes her too. Girl screws things up (and has done so with almost every
likable suitor she’s met) by coming out the gate with walls up, waving her independent
“I can take care of myself” flag -- loud and proud, being passive instead of
communicating her wants and needs clearly, and being too prideful and too much
of a coward to let herself be open and vulnerable enough to allow herself to
fall in like/love with someone and vice versa, and know while there’s risk for
hurt, it’s okay to try again and again, until she meets someone who’s her
equal. Because when she least expects it, she could end up with the right
person at just the right time. Only first, she must acknowledge why she’s the
common denominator in being boyfriendless, decide to change her ways and
patterns that aren’t working, and understand that allowing a guy to be a guy
and do things for her and feel needed, won’t strip her of her wholeness or
cramp her style, and that while it’s great to be in a position where she can
handle herself, it’s important to master balance.
In fact, as she becomes less standoffish and stops letting her emotions or what her
family and friends may think is best for her cloud her decision making, she
could intentionally be making steps towards changing the game, which will
require getting uncomfortable, unlearning some deep rooted beliefs she once
held, and having a new approach to things. Will she finally snag the bae that
stays? We’ll see.
As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...