Skip to main content

Five Stages of the Uncertain College Graduate

Life after graduating college can feel uncertain. I’ve lived it and I’m still working through it and feel obliged to warn and inform soon to be college graduates about what life after college can be like, and openly share some of my experiences. The experiences can best be described in stages.  
Stage One: Emotional Meltdown. Please allow yourself to go through this fully and if you can, stay away from all social media during this time. Times of transition can have all kinds of emotions and expressing those emotions through status updates isn’t a good idea. You’ll be excited about finishing college, but you’re about to enter into another level of the real world that will be filled with plenty of twists, turns, disappointments and surprises. Taking the time to focus on yourself is critical.
Stage Two: The Question. Constantly hearing, “What are you going to do with your degree?” Know that it’s okay to not know and that you’ll figure it out soon enough.
Stage Three: Downtime. A lot of downtime. While looking for a real grown up job, you’ll have a lot of time on your hands which means a lot of daytime TV. I highly recommend The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Those reruns served me well. And of course this time should be used looking for full-time employment – ideally, you should be looking for a job before graduating.
Stage Four: Job Offers. You’ll likely get offers and calls for a number of jobs that you’re overqualified for, and especially offers for things not in your field of study. If you’re pressed and have to take a job to pay bills in the meantime, do that until the opportunities you're seeking out become available. Often, the job you want isn’t the one you need fresh out of college. If the opportunities you desire are meant for you, they'll still be available when you’re ready for them.
Stage Five: Embrace change. Your friendships are going to change and a number of them will be non-existent. Truth? The hundreds and hundreds of social media “friends” you have are not your real friends. You’re blessed if you have about two people you can call your true friends. A lot of the people you meet before college, during, and after will not remain close. Inevitably, life will pull everyone in different directions and everything will change. Embrace this change. 
Life after college can be a challenging transition, but you’ll make it if you're determined to better yourself. This world can be tough, but so are you. Get ready. You got this!

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

The Day I Took A Concealed Carry Course

Ability, opportunity, and intent are three words I’ll never forget after taking my first concealed carry course. Learning about firearm safety, how to properly purchase and use a firearm, and obtaining my concealed carry license were goals I set for myself and accomplished at the end of last year. Although I felt completely outside my comfort zone, I knew taking these steps were important to me. Mainly because of the current state of our world and society in general. During the course with Concealed Coalition, our instructor began by stating that the world seems more hostile than ever. He shared how you could be an innocent person minding your own business and suddenly find yourself in a situation where a firearm is present or needed. When he asked, “What made you take this course?” I responded, “For protection.” The course was filled with men and women there for the same reason and others. We all learned about specific laws in place surrounding firearms, the steps to purchase them, ho...