If a guy goes through a bunch of women, he’s a
player and praised for what he does. If a woman goes through a bunch of men,
she’s quickly labeled a ho, tramp, slut, whore, thot (acronym for that ho over there) and any other name that
can come off as a negative insult, and more often than not, will find herself
ostracized and judged.
If a woman enjoys sex and has as many partners as a
man, does that make her a thot or just sexually liberated?
In the 90s Darren Star’s popular series Sex and the City, featured four women who
were close friends, living in New York City, who routinely discussed their sex
lives and experiences with different partners, while navigating the dating
world. To this day, the series remains a cult classic. There was also another
series by Mara Brock Akil titled Girlfriends,
that featured four African-American women who were smart, successful, and
driven professionals, who did the same. Girlfriends
was like a black version of Sex and
the City. Both shows featured female characters that were not ashamed of
their sexuality or taking ownership of their sex lives. While those shows were
created for entertainment purposes, in real life, the perception of women who
choose to celebrate the same kind of liberation is painted negatively. Why is that?
On the other side of the coin, being a woman who’s
discreet and has a low key, non-questionable past with men can have negative
views, too. I’ve actually met guys who’ve been vocal about not wanting to be
with someone who withholds sex, makes them wait until there’s a serious
commitment (such as a timeline based on how long they’ve been together or
waiting until marriage) or being with someone who lacks experience. It’s interesting.
What’s also been interesting is the rise of a number
of public figures, like Ciara, Meagan Good, and Mariah Carey, for example,
sharing their choice to put sex on hold. Which is honestly, dope. A lot
of people hold out for different reasons (religion, to recover after a split, to
figure out who they are and want they want for future relationships, and etc.)
It may seem like a foreign concept these days, but it’s more common than some
people may realize. If someone can have self-control in that area, I believe
they can have self-control with just about anything.
It’s interesting how women are heavily criticized,
though, no matter which direction they take. Every situation is different, but
when the opinion firing squad starts, most women are usually caught in the
crossfire while men get a pat on the back. Wild, right?