Setting the Record Straight

What is a critic? Someone who can’t do what you can do so they want to criticize your stuff. – Martin Lawrence (this quote has been paraphrased. Specifically the word, stuff, to avoid using profanity.)

Being a Christian will never limit me as a writer. I’m not a big fan of labels because I know if people can label you, they can limit you. I’m a Christian and a writer, but I’m not a Christian writer. I don’t want to be put in a box and have my content be specifically aimed to just a Christian demographic alone.

I’m a Christian with an edgy side. Still saved, though. (Just in case anyone gets that twisted.)

I want to reach people from all walks of life. Doing so doesn’t come without being criticized, though. I write about all kinds of things and it’s not always clean, cookie-cutter, wholesome stuff. Some of it’s going to be controversial, raw, direct and vulnerable. I’ve personally struggled with the vulnerability aspect because it’s scary to share my truths and experiences and touch topics that others may want to write on, but won’t because of what others think and the criticism, especially from the naïve, judgmental, church-community types. I’ve been saved since I was seven and I’ve seen how bad this can get. And the older I get and the closer my relationship with Christ grows, I’m learning to let go of a lot of some of my once longtime, limited beliefs on things I once held so tightly to.

I have noticed the criticism, pull backs, internet trolls, social media status updates of someone trying to come for me… I see it. Is what it is. Stay upset, I guess.

Having a difference of opinion, different political views, perspectives and thoughts on different things won’t send me to hell or have me excommunicated from “the church.” My thing is if you don’t like my content, you don’t have to read it. Criticism comes with the territory of being a writer. I’m used to it. But I’m still going to share my stories, thoughts, and material boldly and unapologetically.

Critics criticize, it’s what they do.

Writers write. It’s what they do. It’s what I do. And I’m doing very well. No hate here, just love.

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Making Waves