I used to be good at blaming
other people for my problems. Blaming others meant I didn’t have to take
responsibility for my misery and unhappiness. One memory that reminds me of
this was during a season I was in and out of college. I sat out of college for
over a year once and felt because I wasn’t getting help I wanted, it was other
peoples fault. Someone who prompted me to think about my choice of blaming others
was my little brother. At the time he was finishing up his junior year of
college, while I was out of school working at a job I felt I was wasting
my life away doing. I was giving up on myself and utterly miserable. We’d both
been texting and he asked me why I wasn’t in school. My response was, mom didn’t help me with the paperwork stuff.
He replied, so, its mom’s fault?
His response woke me up.
It wasn’t my mom’s fault or
anybody else’s responsibly, but my own, to figure out a way to get back in
school and finish. I could’ve finished much earlier than I did if I hadn’t
wasted time blaming people, throwing pity parties and staying in situations I
borderline hated. A shift happened and my mindset was, screw this. I’m going to do what I have to do to finish school and do
better for myself. And I did. I have family, friends and even some enemies
and haters who complain, whine, and cry about things that they’re capable of
changing and improving on, if they’d just take ownership of their lives. I get
it, though. Blaming others is easy. I notice it because I used to do it. Game recognizes
game. Taking responsibility requires effort, hard work, and a lot of
introspection about what you can and should do to change your situation for the
better. If you’re not at peace, unsettled, or unhappy, get to the bottom of why
and go from there. You’ll find the answers. You’ll figure it out.
Take responsibly for your
choices. This is your life. If something’s not working, change it.
Additional note: While I did
finish school and work hard to get my degree, there was a point when I wanted it for the wrong reasons. I believed I had something to prove to a bunch of people who said I couldn’t do it, or were hung
up on my age by the time I’d complete it. And know this: degrees, nice jewelry,
great careers and opportunities, loaded bank accounts, nice homes and
vacations, accolades, or an identity placed or defined by relationship status, significant
others, titles, or what someone may be good at, only have the value people put
on them. I’ve tasted enough of almost all these things to know they won’t bring
long-lasting happiness. More often than not, they’re usually trinkets of what
some may perceive as happiness or success.
Even people who are haters may have a perception that your life is easy, put together, or seemingly better
than theirs. Perception is wild. I've grown to realize I have nothing to
prove to anyone. For awhile I thought I “made it” because I obtained a degree.
Don’t get me wrong, I worked hard and was glad to get it done, but these days,
I’m growing to explore what’s more meaningful.