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Reflection

An old journal entry from 12/27/16

I don’t want to…
Suffocate in sameness.
Waste time wandering.
Settle in any area of my life (career, love, experiences, and opportunities)
Make compromises that hinder my blessings/walk with God.

I do want to…
Live a whole, full life as a single woman before ever settling down.
Travel/see more of the world.
Fulfill my God-given purpose and destiny.
Be in a position to help others.
Break painful cycles/habits in my family.
Inspire the next generation of believers.

This year I made a choice to work on becoming a better me. Overall, it’s been a challenging year, yet, impressive and transformative. At the end of 2016 I wrote out a list of different things I wanted to accomplish, and I’m happy to report that with the exception of a handful of things, I’ve been able to cross almost everything off the list. One evening I went through some of my old journals, and noticed something cool when I read through what 2016-2017 was like. I couldn’t believe how much I changed and experienced growth. I was dealing with some personal family issues, strains on some relationships that had ran their course, and worried about how things were going to turn out. After reading some old entries, I could see how the enemy was strategically plotting to ruin me, and how God was using different situations to draw out the best in me. It wasn’t and still isn’t easy, but I’m blessed to share that I’ve been able to restore some relationships with different family members, confront other family members about their destructive behaviors, and made a decision for myself, to break the bad family patterns that have carried on for far too long. I also let go of some friendships that had either ran their course and/or weren’t solid to begin with, while still being able to restore a few. I also managed to finally graduate from college and land a full-time position, in which I’m able to maximize a number of my God-given gifts and listen, help, serve, and encourage others in rewarding ways. This year, I also questioned my Christianity and what it means to be a real Christian, after going head to head with some sketchy saved folks, all while taking a spiritual beat down that broke my heart in places I didn’t think could hurt, but, after some communication, forgiveness, prayer, and healing, I’ve been able to rebuild just fine. The year is not over yet, and with just a few months left, it’ll be interesting to see how things end.

Sometimes, it takes a look back to see how far you’ve come.



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