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Once You Go Black…

There’s a saying that goes, “Once you go black, you never go back” referencing those outside of the African- American race having a preference for being intimately involved with African-American men and women. Honestly, I don’t like the saying. While I have no issues with interracial relationships, I find non African-Americans who are too extra about their preference for being attracted and/or romantically linked to us – annoying. Since when did being with someone black become trendy? The first time I noticed this was during a seemingly innocent interaction. I was out on the town with a friend, and a guy took notice of me. He was obviously shy, because he sent his friend over to be his wing man. To give you more of a visual, both of these guys were white. When the guy that was too scared to talk to me sent his friend over, my friend and I brushed them off. We all ended up running into each other again, only this time around the shy guy’s sister approached me. She asked me if I was married, to which I replied, “no” and then she said, “My brother’s had his eyes on you the whole night. He loooooves black women!” I could see she had been drinking, so I didn’t think much of it, but I decided to be open and give her brother a chance. He was cute and really friendly. We talked and things ended there.


Long after that encounter, I began hearing comments from other acquaintances, colleagues, and casual friends about their preferences for dating black that rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve never stated having a preference for any particular race. I’ve always been pretty open, but the problem I have with the “once you go black” reference is that it can come off as offensive. I’m not a fetish, fantasy, or a trend for some guy that has a thing for black women. While it’s flattering being approached and appreciated for who I am, I never want someone’s fascination with me to be predicated upon a self-seeking desire to just be with me, or, any of my other fellow African-American brothers and sisters, because of stereotypes and bragging rights about being with someone black. That’s so messed up on so many levels. We’re not fetishes, fantasies, or a trend. We’re human beings who just happen to be another race. Be with whoever you want to be with, just make sure it’s for the right reasons. 
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