Objectifying Men

I believe a lot of men objectify women and enjoy it. While it’s disgusting and discomforting, I sometimes wonder, how often do women objectify men? I find that it rarely happens. Even with the rise of the male romper trend (it’s not a good look lol), men in Speedo’s, shirtless men with ripped abs featured in various ads, in addition to male strip clubs and the whole Magic Mike thing (you know, the film with Channing Tatum who’s a dreamer by day and a stripper by night?) Oh, and how could I forget all those guys on the abc reality show, The Bachelorette? The sexualization of men does happen. I can only write from my perspective as a young woman, but most of the women I’ve been around don’t frequent male strip clubs, make inappropriate comments or gestures, or use improper pick up lines to get at guys the way some guys do with women. At best, I usually hear things like, he’s cute, he’s hot, he’s a babe, or he’s sexy. The same way I don’t like being objectified, I can’t imagine that guys would enjoy it, however, if the tables were turned, it’d be interesting to see what the reactions would be like.

While I can always appreciate an attractive guy, I believe in exercising self-control. Complimenting men is fine, but I’m not into the objectification thing. Even as a modern day feminist, I don’t think its okay to objectify anyone, male or female. There’s nothing wrong with finding someone attractive, so as long as things don’t go into the land of objectification.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

Twenty Pieces Of Advice & Wisdom For The Twenty-Something Women Of The World

Years ago, a friend of mine asked me for advice regarding a life change she was considering. She explained her situation and shared, “I wanted to talk to you because you give really good advice.” I was flattered and surprised by her statement. Mostly because while I’ve been approached by family, friends, colleagues, different students I teach, and sometimes even strangers who have asked me for advice regarding whatever it was they happened to bring my way, some haven’t always listened and then proceeded to make regretful decisions that could have been avoided if they had listened to what I shared in the first place. And lately, a group that’s heavily been on my heart and mind are women in their twenties. I’m only 33 but I remember what it was like for my friends and me moving through our twenties. It wasn’t the easiest decade to navigate, and it certainly had its ups and downs, but armed with the experiences, advice, and wisdom I have now, there are definitely things I believe we ...

Making Waves