I used to think being selfish was a bad thing, until
I learned that there are two kinds of selfishness. Good selfish and bad selfish. Sometimes,
being selfish can be a good thing and other times it can be bad, only because
bad selfishness is usually accompanied with icky and off putting vibes. I believe being
selfish in a way that puts you first, so that you’re able to be in the right
state of mind to be present and helpful to others is great. You can’t pour from
an empty glass, so if you’re not putting yourself first by doing things that
help you be a better person, like, taking time to recharge, having personal me time to decompress, and making
decisions for your life that will take it in a positive direction, you’re not
honoring yourself, which means you’ll be less likely to help others. Also
learning to say the word no is
necessary too. I used to feel really bad whenever I declined someone’s request
or invitation to something that would require my time, energy, and/or money. My
biggest fear was what if they get mad at
me or what if they don’t like me,
anymore? Now, I don’t care so much, because that fear was a bit silly. If
I’m going to be the best version of myself it will mean saying no to different
things, instead of yes. In Don’t Settle
for Safe Sarah Jakes Roberts says, “If you can’t handle my no, it’s because
you’re too comfortable abusing my yes.” Know this, if you say yes to everything, you risk draining yourself. As far as bad selfishness goes, being
completely inflexible all the time, having to have things go your way all the
time, and not being considerate of other people are great examples of being
negatively selfish. If you're not careful, that kind of selfishness can cost you valuable relationships
and opportunities to be a blessing, and to be blessed. I
wanted to note the differences between these forms of selfishness, because I’ve
experienced and noticed how some people are comfortable attempting to put
others on guilt trips about this, without recognizing how much good
and bad selfishness differ. And selfishness truly has differences.
Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About six to be exact. · The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. · The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and exchanged occasional texts, but eventually he stopped responding to me