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Good Selfish, Bad Selfish

I used to think being selfish was a bad thing, until I learned that there are two kinds of selfishness. Good selfish and bad selfish. Sometimes, being selfish can be a good thing and other times it can be bad, only because bad selfishness is usually accompanied with icky and off putting vibes. I believe being selfish in a way that puts you first, so that you’re able to be in the right state of mind to be present and helpful to others is great. You can’t pour from an empty glass, so if you’re not putting yourself first by doing things that help you be a better person, like, taking time to recharge, having personal me time to decompress, and making decisions for your life that will take it in a positive direction, you’re not honoring yourself, which means you’ll be less likely to help others. Also learning to say the word no is necessary too. I used to feel really bad whenever I declined someone’s request or invitation to something that would require my time, energy, and/or money. My biggest fear was what if they get mad at me or what if they don’t like me, anymore? Now, I don’t care so much, because that fear was a bit silly. If I’m going to be the best version of myself it will mean saying no to different things, instead of yes. In Don’t Settle for Safe Sarah Jakes Roberts says, “If you can’t handle my no, it’s because you’re too comfortable abusing my yes.” Know this, if you say yes to everything, you risk draining yourself. As far as bad selfishness goes, being completely inflexible all the time, having to have things go your way all the time, and not being considerate of other people are great examples of being negatively selfish. If you're not careful, that kind of selfishness can cost you valuable relationships and opportunities to be a blessing, and to be blessed. I wanted to note the differences between these forms of selfishness, because I’ve experienced and noticed how some people are comfortable attempting to put others on guilt trips about this, without recognizing how much good and bad selfishness differ. And selfishness truly has differences.  

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