Skip to main content

Colorism

I’ve got beef with colorism. Colorism is defined as discrimination based on skin color. Myself and other young women I know have had to deal with issues surrounding it, both within our own race and others. I’ve struggled with colorism since I was a kid, and as an adult, I’ve still found myself in situations where I’ve had to wrestle with it. I’m not a hater and I’m not insecure, but I don’t like being treated like I’m invisible, because of my shade of brown as a woman of color. And I can't imagine that other women of color appreciate similar treatment as well. 

I've had some girlfriends who've been darker than me suggest that from their perception, I'm light skinned, so when I've shared my colorism experiences with them, they've seemed shocked. However, I'm definitely brown and I'm not exaggerating what it's been like. I’ve noticed. Man, have I noticed. And I’ve felt awful every time it’s happened.

I noticed during early moments in my youth, growing up in predominantly white neighborhoods and schools, and watching as teachers and different guys I went to school with would always tell the lighter skinned black girls and/or white girls how beautiful they were, as I looked on and often wondered, what does that make me?

I’ve noticed (and sadly have continued to notice) whenever I’ve heard different ignorant black guys and a handful of white ones, make statements as well as suggest that lighter skinned black women are more attractive than darker ones, and have expressed their preference for white women or any other races of women that are not brown or dark skinned.

I’ve noticed whenever I’ve been out with friends (whether they were light skinned or anything but brown to darker skinned) and watched as guys from all kinds of races would approach them, and completely ignore me.

Honestly, it hurts. I know I shouldn’t feel less than or compare myself to others, but I do feel some type of way about all this. It’s messed up and I don’t understand it. I’m brown, beautiful, with big brown eyes, and a contagious smile that can light up an entire room. Along with a great body and a very dope spirit, plus, a mind filled with knowledge, education, intelligence, and creativity.

I’m not invisible. Don’t treat me like I am.

When I was in undergrad I wrote a non-fiction piece titled, Mirror, Mirror, about self-esteem and one of the chapters focused on issues surrounding colorism within the black community. There’s always been this long standing stigma that if a black person is light skinned they’re deemed as more attractive, because they look close to white (which was once the ultimate standard of beauty.) Of course what’s considered the standard of beauty has drastically changed, but I still feel the stings when I believe I’m overlooked because I’m a woman of color that’s shades darker than someone else. I’ve had other black girlfriends who’ve battled with similar issues, and have seen how visibly hurt they’ve been whenever they were overlooked, mistreated, or felt less than, because they didn’t look like the girl everyone gushed over that was lighter than them or from another race. But I’ve got some words for any and every woman of color who has felt this way. And I also have words for those of you that diss, dismiss, and overlook us.

To my fellow women of color who have felt the shade of colorism…

I believe you’re beautiful. You may not look like the others that surround you, but you still have value and are appreciated. I see you, know you, and have felt what you’ve felt in more ways than you’d ever know. I’ve cried the same tears and have felt invisible. I’ve definitely felt not pretty enough or good enough plenty of times, and want you to know, you’re not alone. Don’t ever feel left out or invisible because someone doesn’t recognize your inner and outer beauty.

To those that diss, dismiss, and overlook us? It’s your loss. We’re dope. 

Also, a special thanks to…

Naturi Naughton
Teyonah Parris
Tika Sumpter
Normani Kordei
Kelly Rowland
Keke Palmer
Angela Bassett
Alfre Woodard
Taraji P. Henson
Lauryn Hill
Rutina Wesley
India Arie
Sanaa Lathan
Naomi Campbell
Lupita Nyong’o
Gabrielle Union
Viola Davis
Shonda Rhimes
Kerry Washington
And all the others. You’ve helped in many ways.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well – Psalm 139:14




Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

A Year Of Being Ghosted

Ghosting: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. I’ve been ghosted by every guy I’ve met within the past two years. About  six  to be exact. ·        The first guy pursued me and then got shady whenever I asked him about what he did for a living and where he lived. When he started dodging and avoiding questions, wouldn’t initiate dates, and slowly stopped keeping in touch with me altogether, eventually, all communication ceased. ·        The second guy was someone I met through a family member. He was super cool, very smart, handsome, and funny, but didn’t want to be in a relationship and acted like he didn’t want to be seen with me publicly. When we had plans to meet for an outing, he didn’t show up, and then texted me about a week later with an apology. We chilled at my place a few times, had a few phone conversations, and exchanged occasional texts, but eventually he stopped responding to me
Read more

Teacher Table Talk: When Parents Attack

As an English teacher, a core belief I’ve held close since the beginning of my career has been the importance of relationship building. I believe that if great relationships between teachers, students, and parents are established at the beginning of the school year, everything else will fall into place. Authentically modeling, practicing, and establishing mutually respectful and professional relationships within my classroom has been the bridge for effective communication, solid classroom management, and creating a safe and effective learning environment that fits each of my student’s needs.  And though I’ve seen and experienced the benefits of great relationship building, unfortunately, there have been times when some students and parents have not been receptive or interested in my efforts to establish connections that would best serve all parties involved. I’ve also noticed and shared spaces with other educators, school counselors, and administrators who’ve experienced the same. And
Read more

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace.       As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken things too far
Read more