Challenging Gender Bias

Sometimes, I think if I was a dude, I’d be able to get away with just about anything. It’s a troubling thought but it’s a reality. I’ve seen this since I was a little girl and now that I’m a grown woman, I’m brave enough to confront it. I’m challenging the world of gender bias. I’ve had too many encounters and experiences where I’ve been criticized, ridiculed, insulted, and even threatened for daring to take a stand against the ugliness of it. When I experience it, witness it, or hear stories from other women who’ve endured it, it makes my stomach turn and what’s disturbing is, it’s becoming something more common and acceptable, which is horrifying. If a woman sets boundaries, demands respect, takes charge, takes a stand, or voices her opinion whether she’s home, in the public, or in many cases, a career setting, she’s quickly labeled as…

Emotional.

Cold.

Mean.

Difficult.

Dramatic.

Unlikable.

A female dog.

But if a guy sets boundaries, demands respect, takes charge, takes a stand, or voices his opinion whether he’s home, in the public, or in some cases a career setting, he’s usually praised, supported, gets a pat on the back, a promotion, a parade and is treated like a king.

I think that’s bogus.

As a woman, I have a voice and I’m not afraid to use it. If having boundaries, standing up for myself, having an opinion, or not being confined to the roles of what some deem to be a traditional woman, makes others uncomfortable, then quite frankly, that’s sad. We all deserve to be respected. I believe a lot of women shrink in fear to step forward with these issues, because they’re scared of what people think and of the reactions they’ll get, for simply wanting to be treated with the same respect that is generously handed over to men. I’m not a man hater or anything like that, but to stay quiet about this is unacceptable. Whenever I’ve been called any of the names I’ve listed (and I’ve been called those names plenty of times… such is the case when you take a stand) I try not to let them bother me too much. Words can hurt, but building a strong foundation that is not shaken by the opinions of others is something I’ve been working on. I could be quiet about gender bias, but the thing is, I can’t afford to not speak up. It’d cost me too much.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace. As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken t...

Making Waves