Challenging Gender Bias

Sometimes, I think if I was a dude, I’d be able to get away with just about anything. It’s a troubling thought but it’s a reality. I’ve seen this since I was a little girl and now that I’m a grown woman, I’m brave enough to confront it. I’m challenging the world of gender bias. I’ve had too many encounters and experiences where I’ve been criticized, ridiculed, insulted, and even threatened for daring to take a stand against the ugliness of it. When I experience it, witness it, or hear stories from other women who’ve endured it, it makes my stomach turn and what’s disturbing is, it’s becoming something more common and acceptable, which is horrifying. If a woman sets boundaries, demands respect, takes charge, takes a stand, or voices her opinion whether she’s home, in the public, or in many cases, a career setting, she’s quickly labeled as…

Emotional.

Cold.

Mean.

Difficult.

Dramatic.

Unlikable.

A female dog.

But if a guy sets boundaries, demands respect, takes charge, takes a stand, or voices his opinion whether he’s home, in the public, or in some cases a career setting, he’s usually praised, supported, gets a pat on the back, a promotion, a parade and is treated like a king.

I think that’s bogus.

As a woman, I have a voice and I’m not afraid to use it. If having boundaries, standing up for myself, having an opinion, or not being confined to the roles of what some deem to be a traditional woman, makes others uncomfortable, then quite frankly, that’s sad. We all deserve to be respected. I believe a lot of women shrink in fear to step forward with these issues, because they’re scared of what people think and of the reactions they’ll get, for simply wanting to be treated with the same respect that is generously handed over to men. I’m not a man hater or anything like that, but to stay quiet about this is unacceptable. Whenever I’ve been called any of the names I’ve listed (and I’ve been called those names plenty of times… such is the case when you take a stand) I try not to let them bother me too much. Words can hurt, but building a strong foundation that is not shaken by the opinions of others is something I’ve been working on. I could be quiet about gender bias, but the thing is, I can’t afford to not speak up. It’d cost me too much.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Black Male Athletes And Their Dating Preferences

In the 2017 horror film Get Out , there’s an unforgettable scene when one of the film’s villainous characters, Rose, a young white woman, is seen eating Fruit Loops and drinking a bottle of milk through a straw as she searches the internet for “Top NCAA prospects.” This moment in the film is frightening because the purpose of Rose’s search is to ultimately lure young and unsuspecting Black men to a deadly fate after she begins dating them. If you’ve seen the film, you know how everything ultimately turns out, but if you haven’t, you’ll have a better understanding of the bigger picture. Recently, college football superstar and future NFL prospect, Travis Hunter, became a source of media scrutiny and controversy regarding his relationship with his fiancée, Leanna Lenee. Much of the criticism was around his fiancée and comments she shared about how she wasn’t initially interested in Travis before they started dating. Additionally, she received backlash regarding the couple’s interact...

Making Waves