Skip to main content

Saved, Sexy, and Criticized

Your shorts are too short.
Your dress is too short.
That blouse is too revealing.
That dress is inappropriate.
You have a two-piece bathing suit? Sinner.


Along with wincing stares and stare downs. Ugh. 

So, I’ve been pulled over by the fashion police one too many times, and with each prudish, judgmental, and sometimes, downright offensive comment, I’ve managed to bounce back and get on with my life just fine. As a woman on the receiving end of this, I do wonder do some people not have anything better to do than to be worried about what I’m wearing? That said, I’m taking a stand for all woman kind, and especially any and all Christian women who’ve ever found themselves in a similar situation. I will be their voice. I like clothes. I also love looking nice, and I believe fashion is a great way to express one’s self. As a believer, I do have boundaries but the thing is, being criticized for how I dress and worst of all, judged, is unsettling at times. 

First of all, I’m tall, so most of my shorts and dresses may appear to be short because of my height. Plus, if you factor in my curves and the fact that I have a nice derrière along with a model-like physique, then of course my clothes fit differently. I’m also a beach girl, so most of my blouses are cute and tank toppy. And as far as wearing a two-piece bathing suit goes, I could care less what anyone thinks about that. It’s not a sin, and I’m not a sinner for wearing one, and owning a bunch of them.

I believe that Christian women can be sexy, and unapologetic about it. Christian women can totally embody, possess, and have sex-appeal, and shouldn’t be ashamed of that. I know sexuality and things like sex-appeal are subject matters that the church and the religious shun, but you can still be saved, slay all day, and should not be shamed for that. Yes, wisdom is the principal thing (Proverbs 4:7) but being a believer that takes jabs at another believer, because of what the other is wearing is wrong. I could literally walk around in a paper bag and still turn heads. Excuse me for being attractive lol, but since when did being an attractive Christian woman become a bad thing? I don’t think God loves me any less than a woman that’s fully covered. I’m still a believer. When I first started experiencing this, I’d feel so ashamed. Now, I simply laugh, and shake it off.

I can remember two public, Christian figures that faced similar judgment from the church when they stepped out in outfits that were deemed sexy. The first was Meagan Good (who’s literally so gorgeous, she can make almost anything look good) who wore a blue, plunging dress to the BET awards one year, and got massive amounts of shade thrown at her. And the other was gospel singer, Erica Campbell, who was under fire for wearing a beautiful, figure hugging white dress on her album cover, which set off a bunch of believers who felt her outfit was ungodly. Crazy as it sounds, this kind of stuff happens all the time.

I could shrink, put myself in a box or wear sweat pants to the beach lol, but I’m not going to do any of that. If someone has a problem with the way I dress, stay upset, I guess. I’m still a Christian, and my attire doesn’t negate that.


Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

The Day I Took A Concealed Carry Course

Ability, opportunity, and intent are three words I’ll never forget after taking my first concealed carry course. Learning about firearm safety, how to properly purchase and use a firearm, and obtaining my concealed carry license were goals I set for myself and accomplished at the end of last year. Although I felt completely outside my comfort zone, I knew taking these steps were important to me. Mainly because of the current state of our world and society in general. During the course with Concealed Coalition, our instructor began by stating that the world seems more hostile than ever. He shared how you could be an innocent person minding your own business and suddenly find yourself in a situation where a firearm is present or needed. When he asked, “What made you take this course?” I responded, “For protection.” The course was filled with men and women there for the same reason and others. We all learned about specific laws in place surrounding firearms, the steps to purchase them, ho...