As a young black woman I can testify to the fact
that, being black in America can be tough. I don’t have a poor me, life is so hard because I’m black... mindset; I just know
what’s happening in the world. I love being black, and all of the dope black
girl magic I embody – I’m smart, beautiful, educated, gifted, and talented but
I’m also real woke (more woke than a lot of people that might think they me know me well, may realize).
I’ve experienced racism and discrimination since I was a kid. Always being the
only black girl in class, in the neighborhood, and in many other settings does
something to a person. I can recognize the disgusting stench of racism from my
childhood, in different workplaces, and even during my time as an undergrad in
college. I’m fully aware of the stereotypes and prejudgments that come with
being black. When a new president was elected in November 2016, I pretended not
to notice how racist, prejudice, and sexist a lot of my social media and real
life friends were, but a lot of them just revealed the truth about who they
were all along. A lot of the stuff I saw and heard was alarming. We’re not living in a post-racial world as some people
may think. Even though there’s been some progress here and there, there’s so
much more that has to be done. I can only speak from my experience with
different things, but here’s some stuff to know…
Why
would you say that? There have been so many times when
someone from another race has said or done something that left me wondering, why would they say that?! Stuff like…
“Did you just vote for Obama because he’s black?”
“You’re a white-black girl…”
“You seem like you just date white guys…”
“Black people can’t afford this or that…”
And many other things that aren’t worth listing…
Don’t
believe everything you see on reality TV…
In the world of table flipping, toss-a-drink in your
face, petty, gossiping, and brawling reality television, most of the shows
feature black women. I used to watch some of them and think it was funny, until
I didn’t anymore. When I saw how bad things
looked, I had to completely pull away from it. The upsetting thing about it is
that this kind of reality television is used for entertainment purposes, while
exploiting the state of what it means to be a black woman. Not all black women
act like that, and mainstream media pushes this in a dangerous way. To each
their own as far as watching it goes, but I’ll pass.
Black
on black… I have a lot of white friends. I do have some black
friends, but my white friends definitely outnumber my black ones. Growing up, usually
being the only black girl in the mix influenced and impacted me in different
ways. I don’t fit a stereotype, so the authenticity of my “blackness” has often
been questioned and clowned. I’ve been picked on by my own people for being bougie (a colloquialism for being snobby
like) but recently, a good friend advised me to lose that word. I’m smart,
speak well, and enjoy fine dining, art, different culture, and eclectic mixes
of entertainment. This doesn’t mean I’m bougie or excludes me from experiencing
racism. I still catch it regardless of how educated, well spoken, and
attractive I am. So, to my brothers and sisters who throw that word around as
an insult, please stop. I may not “fit” the mold, but I’m still fighting the
good fight, too.
The
N-word… No matter who says this word, I don’t like it. It’s
not cool, hip, or funny. People say it all the time, though. Don’t.
Opportunities…
We
may all be afforded various opportunities, but sometimes, some of us have to
grind even harder to prove ourselves. On the hit Shonda Rhimes series, Scandal Eli Pope once told his daughter
Olivia, “You have to be twice as good as them to get half of what they have.”
Almost every black person knows exactly what this means. I’ve even had it said
to me growing up. Much of what you want will never be handed to you, especially
if you’re a minority; especially now. In grade school through college, I knew I
had to deliver, because I was aware of the odds against me, and the competition
waiting. As a black woman, I’ve had to work hard to prove I could make great
grades, have my voice be heard, tell my stories, land opportunities, and even
create my own opportunities in the process.
Interracial
love… Personally, I don’t have a type and I don’t
discriminate. I’ve been approached by different guys, from different races and
it’s cool. Some people may have a preference to just date and/or marry within
their own race, which isn’t racist, but I feel like the more open you are, the
more options you’ll have. I feel this is especially important for black women. Dating
outside your race can be a great thing, and it doesn’t mean you’re betraying
the brothers. I can appreciate a great guy no matter what race he is, and I
love black men. However, when black men and men from other races say things
like, “I don’t date black women because…” or only pursue or wife up non-black
women, I get why some black women get upset. It can sting sometimes, because
just because you choose to be with someone outside of your race, doesn’t mean
you should bash those within your own. Go be with whoever you want, just be
respectful.
I’m
not an angry black woman… Black women have some bad stats.
I’m all for changing those stats. First off, we’re not all angry. I’m not. Sure, I get
upset when things happen I don’t like that I believe may have something to do
with the fact that I’m black, but I don’t dwell on it. I just feel the emotions
and move on. Staying angry won’t fix anything, and just because I’m outspoken, stand
up for myself, speak out against an issue, or get upset doesn’t make me angry.
I’m just woke.
Law
enforcement… There can be a lot of mixed emotions
when it comes to law enforcement, and it’s understandable. Unfortunately, the
tragic direction of the way things have been going in the world attributes to
the distrust of what can be described as, a flawed justice system. I pray about
it, and can only hope and have faith that things get better.
Some
people don’t get it… No matter what, some people will never
understand what it’s like for black Americans. The weight, pressures,
opposition, and battles we face from the moment we step out into a world that
marginalizes us, is something that can’t be easily understood. Whenever someone
tells me, “Don’t take it too personal…” I ignore it, because this thing hits too
close to home to not take it personal. Taking a stand and at least trying to
understand what different people go through, without judging them can help.
Stay woke, stay informed.