As a young woman, I don’t like competing with other
women. I think it’s petty. As much as I try to avoid it, it seems inevitable at
times. I’m in competition with no one but myself, however, I feel the
discomfort and hatred when faced with another woman, who doesn’t try to
challenge me in a healthy way (like going for a job, for example) but instead,
attempts to one up me in a childish manner to prove a point, because she’s either
threatened, or insecure. I don’t like that, and unfortunately I see it all the
time. I’ve adopted a mantra that simply goes, if she wins, I win, we all win. As women, especially young women,
we’re all in different places and roles in our lives ranging from students, to
professionals, mothers, daughters, sisters, spouses, girlfriends, and etc. and
celebrating each other vs. competing with one another, or downplaying another’s
success, regardless of what stage the other is in, can improve. I’ve been to many
weddings, baby showers, and other various events to support my fellow
sisterhood of different family members and friends, but when I graduated from
college and started applying for different career opportunities, I noticed the
silence and discouraging comments that were whispered, and thrown my way. I
learned that there will be people who don’t clap when you’re winning; even
people that you thought would.
Experiencing this really hurt, because while I’m not picking out a wedding gown
or putting a kid on the bus for their first day of school, I’m steady grinding
for a better life, while trying to become a better version of myself. Not only
have I had this happen to me, but some other smart, go-getting, young women I
know, don’t get the support from their family, friends, and other women that
they need, sometimes. Regardless of how independent someone may come off, it doesn’t
dismiss the fact that they should be celebrated and supported, too. I know I
want to be in a position someday, where I’m able to help put young women
through college that want to go, because I want to see them make it in this
world. Remember, if she wins, I win, we
all win. It’d be great if more women supported each other, instead of
competing with one another, or downplaying each other’s wins. We could all get
ahead so much further together, than apart. Hopefully, that day will come.
I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...