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Ghosts

I have ghosts. Seriously. Not the kind of ghoulish, creep into the house in the middle of the night kind, either. The kind of ghosts I have come in the form of people I used to know, former opportunities, and sometimes a guy I’ve had a brief but memorable encounter with. They usually come back into my life during times of transition, and it feels like the strangest thing ever, especially when there’s been little to no contact in a time span, ranging from months to years of not speaking or being in touch. When a certain amount of time goes by where I don’t hear from someone, or if things ended on a sour note between us, I usually utilize the delete contact button on my phone and/or unfriend button on social media. I see no need to continue keeping in contact, if we’re not keeping in touch. Otherwise, it just seems like unnecessary space is taken up. Totally kidding…or am I? Anyways, since I don’t have the number to a local Ghostbusters service (see what I did there? Lol) I’ve learned to deal with these kinds of encounters. Let me explain…

When it’s a ghost in the form of a former friend…
I’m careful, cautious, and pray. I’ve had to break some unhealthy friendships with people that I really liked, heck, even loved at one point, but ultimately had to let go of because boundaries were being crossed, disrespect was common, and most of the time I was the one walking away with the wounds. At the age I am now? I don’t put up with a lot of stuff I used to tolerate. My heart can’t take it anymore. I can own where I messed up, as I had a habit of staying quiet when things got bad, when I should’ve spoken up. Had I spoke up sooner, things may have ended differently. You live, learn, forgive, and move on. Sometimes, I think God brings former friends back into the mix, just to see if we’ll be obedient enough to not go back. Some ties are better left severed.

When it’s the ghost of a former opportunity…
I pray. Like the ghosts of former friendships, I think God will test us with certain opportunities we once had no access to, to see what we’ll do. This one can get tricky, because I believe He’ll allow us to be exposed to areas we’ll get access to, someday, but not grant permission to enter at the time we think we should. Determining if He says, “No” or “not right now” is usually what happens. Other times, He’ll allow rejection from opportunities to direct us to better. Every situation is different.

When it’s the ghost of a former guy I encountered…
I pray, but most of the time it’s not a matter of prayer, as much as it’s exercising wisdom, and having common sense. I usually ignore him and move on, though. When a guys ghosts, it’s usually a sign that he’s not interested, already spoken for, or not looking for anything serious.


This ghosting thing is no joke. When I don’t hear from someone for a long time and they suddenly try to reappear, it makes me question their motives. I wonder why I’m being contacted. I’m pretty consistent, and sometimes have been too loyal to people, so inconsistency is something I find frustrating. I have to remind myself to be careful with this, so I don’t end up falling back into situations that need to be left alone. Doing this takes prayer and discipline, but it’s worth it. 
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