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Fear

Doing the things that scare you can be liberating. For me, it all started with a confrontation and suddenly, I was never the same again. Four months ago I stood up to a long time bully. Whenever this person came around, my spirit would drop and I’d get anxious and be filled with anxiety. Clearly, I wasn’t throwing scripture at the situation. 2 Timothy 1:7 reads, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” I used to pray that someone would stand up to her. Little did I know that God’s choice was closer than I realized. I was the David and she was the Goliath. Not only did this person scare me, but I watched as she hurt other people with her intimidation, threats, and cruelness. It seemed unbearable at times, but one day I decided, enough is enough. I made a choice and did something about it. Things escalated so quickly that before I realized we were face to face, everything else around me, including the people and surroundings seemed non-existent. Things didn’t get physical, there was just a heated exchange of words, but it felt good to take a stand. Fun fact about this bully: She was a family member, which made this especially challenging, and my taking a stand led to some family members not talking to me shortly after. Something had to be done, though. It is what it is. For the record, I did feel bad about how things went down. I can recognize that she terrorized people because of her own brokenness, which helped me understand why things happened the way they did. Anyone that knows me well knows I’m one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, so this was a side of me that wasn’t common. I watched this person inflict pain for far too long to let it stand anymore, and once I stood up for myself – tears streaming, raspy voice, headache from yelling, and adrenaline pumping, I surprisingly felt relieved. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but once things cooled down, I realized I faced my fears. I stood up to someone I was afraid of, who hurt me and hurt a lot of other people too. Shortly after that time, I did even more things that scared me. Like…

Let God all the way into everything that concerned, troubled, or hurt me. I’ve been vulnerable with Him like never before, and being fully open with Him has been life changing.

Used the word “no” without an explanation. My fear with this had been people being mad at me, but guess what? I can’t control someone’s feelings or what they think. I also can’t and won’t be everything to everybody, which means saying “no” instead of “yes” sometimes and no longer feeling the need to explain why.

Got my first tattoo. This wasn’t nearly as scary or painful as I thought. I’d heard and read about the things that could go wrong, but I’d wanted to do this for years, so I woke up one morning and went for it. My heart was beating fast as I walked into the tattoo shop, and when it was my turn, I was greeted by a husky, tattoo artist, covered in tattoo’s,  who was one of the kindest guys I ever met. While I was getting my tattoo, he talked to me about his wife, how he became a new coffee drinker, and how he thought I smelled good lol. It was a memorable visit and before I knew it, I was walking away with some new ink that I love.

Applied for my dream jobs in California and New York. I’ve lived in the same area my entire life, so the desire to leave has often crossed my mind. My dream careers and career locations are not in my comfort zone. While it’d be scary to pick up and start a life in a new area, it could also be great for me. Regardless of warnings, non-support, disapproval, and fears, I went for my dream careers, and while I didn’t get the jobs I went for, it felt great taking the first steps. I dream big and I’m still not giving up.  

Talked to a guy I’ve always wanted to talk to. This one was funny, because while I was nervous, I had absolutely nothing to be scared about. Sure, it was awkward because I didn’t know him well, but I wanted to talk to him. I thought he was cute, smart, and interesting. It was a brief conversation, just two people talking. Not a big deal and definitely nothing to be afraid of. He was nice and cool to talk to.

And you know what happened after I did all these things? I became less afraid and decided to just “go for it” whatever “it” may be in life. I’m not pretending I never get scared, but I choose to manage the fear, and not let it run my life. Sometimes, a lot of the things we’re afraid of are ridiculous. As long as you’re not hurting someone, putting yourself in danger, or being foolish, why not face your fears, and just dive in? What are you so afraid of? I can testify that on the other side of your fears is: freedom.


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