Doing the things that scare you can be liberating. For
me, it all started with a confrontation and suddenly, I was never the same
again. Four months ago I stood up to a long time bully. Whenever this person
came around, my spirit would drop and I’d get anxious and be filled with
anxiety. Clearly, I wasn’t throwing scripture at the situation. 2 Timothy 1:7
reads, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of
love and of self-discipline.” I used to pray that someone would stand up to
her. Little did I know that God’s choice was closer than I realized. I was the
David and she was the Goliath. Not only did this person scare me, but I watched
as she hurt other people with her intimidation, threats, and cruelness. It
seemed unbearable at times, but one day I decided, enough is enough. I made a choice and did something about it. Things
escalated so quickly that before I realized we were face to face, everything
else around me, including the people and surroundings seemed non-existent.
Things didn’t get physical, there was just a heated exchange of words, but it
felt good to take a stand. Fun fact about this bully: She was a family member, which
made this especially challenging, and my taking a stand led to some family
members not talking to me shortly after. Something had to be done, though. It
is what it is. For the record, I did feel bad about how things went down. I can
recognize that she terrorized people because of her own brokenness, which
helped me understand why things happened the way they did. Anyone that knows me
well knows I’m one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, so this was a side of
me that wasn’t common. I watched this person inflict pain for far too long to
let it stand anymore, and once I stood up for myself – tears streaming, raspy
voice, headache from yelling, and adrenaline pumping, I surprisingly felt
relieved. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but once things cooled down, I realized I
faced my fears. I stood up to someone I was afraid of, who hurt me and hurt a
lot of other people too. Shortly after that time, I did even more things that
scared me. Like…
Let
God all the way into everything that concerned, troubled, or hurt me. I’ve
been vulnerable with Him like never before, and being fully open with Him has
been life changing.
Used
the word “no” without an explanation. My fear with this had
been people being mad at me, but guess what? I can’t control someone’s feelings
or what they think. I also can’t and won’t be everything to everybody, which
means saying “no” instead of “yes” sometimes and no longer feeling the need to
explain why.
Got
my first tattoo. This wasn’t nearly as scary or painful
as I thought. I’d heard and read about the things that could go wrong, but I’d
wanted to do this for years, so I woke up one morning and went for it. My heart
was beating fast as I walked into the tattoo shop, and when it was my turn, I
was greeted by a husky, tattoo artist, covered in tattoo’s, who was one of the kindest guys I ever met.
While I was getting my tattoo, he talked to me about his wife, how he became a
new coffee drinker, and how he thought I smelled good lol. It was a memorable
visit and before I knew it, I was walking away with some new ink that I love.
Applied
for my dream jobs in California and New York. I’ve lived in
the same area my entire life, so the desire to leave has often crossed my mind.
My dream careers and career locations are not in my comfort zone. While it’d be scary to pick up
and start a life in a new area, it could also be great for me. Regardless of
warnings, non-support, disapproval, and fears, I went for my dream careers, and
while I didn’t get the jobs I went for, it felt great taking the first steps. I
dream big and I’m still not giving up.
Talked
to a guy I’ve always wanted to talk to. This one was funny, because
while I was nervous, I had absolutely nothing to be scared about. Sure, it was
awkward because I didn’t know him
well, but I wanted to talk to him. I thought he was cute, smart, and interesting.
It was a brief conversation, just two people talking. Not a big deal and
definitely nothing to be afraid of. He was nice and cool to talk to.
And you know what happened after I did all these
things? I became less afraid and decided to just “go for it” whatever “it” may
be in life. I’m not pretending I never get scared, but I choose to manage the
fear, and not let it run my life. Sometimes, a lot of the things we’re afraid
of are ridiculous. As long as you’re not hurting someone, putting yourself in
danger, or being foolish, why not face your fears, and just dive in? What are
you so afraid of? I can testify that on the other side of your fears is: freedom.