Parents who vicariously try to live through their
children are scary. I see it all the time, and I wonder how many other people recognize
it too. It can be damaging trying to live up to what others have in mind vs.
what your God-given purpose may be. I believe that every person on this earth
is born with an individual and specific purpose, and I also believe that a lot
of people let parental expectations or what’s always been done in
their families, dictate the course of their lives. It’s like seeing a live
puppet show, and it’s disturbing. I’ve watched people pick colleges, choose
spouses, take careers, have kids, and make a bunch of other decisions based on
what they’ve seen. I think it’s important that parents and children are careful
with this. I question if doing what your parents have done is the best route to
take? I ask myself the same question from time to time, and while I have chill
parents, I definitely see some generational patterns I intend to change and end entirely. Differences and choosing differently make people unique. It’s interesting how children that
come from the same parents can come out so significantly, different. My parents
have two kids: Myself, and my brother who is three years younger than me. We
share some similarities such as our tall heights, goofy sense of humor,
intelligence, good looks lol, and tendency to be somewhat quiet before really
getting to know people, but the differences definitely outweigh the
similarities. There have been times when sibling rivalry, unhealthy comparisons, and tension have risen, but I imagine that happens in some families. No family is perfect. I’m creative, coy, and at my core I’m conservative with a liberal
edge. I’m also serious, have more of my dad’s personality, and into the arts.
My brother’s athletic, laid-back, more liberal, and has more of my mom’s
personality. We’re both from the same womb, but definitely different. How boring and uneventful would life be if a mother’s kids all came out the exact same way? I imagine it’d be a giant snooze. Differences make a difference, and what I’m learning as a young adult is, just because my parents did things a certain way, doesn’t mean that it’s the blueprint for my life, or even the same direction my life will go. There are some things I do that mirror some of the behaviors I’ve seen, but I still choose differently. I’ve been raised
and taught well, but I believe that people should live a life that’s the best
extension of who they really are, and there’s no way to know that, without
exploring things outside of what you’ve always seen. Being limited to a this is what’s always been done and this is how we do things mindset is
confining. I’d love to ask people who’ve done what’s always been done, if they’re truly happy and living the kind of
life they enjoy? When everything’s all said and done, I want to be able to look
back and see that I made my own choices, lived a full life, and be at peace
about it.
I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...