Proverbs 11:22 reads, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s
snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” The first time I saw this
scripture, I was a preteen at a Christian summer camp. At the time, I had a
crush on one of the older teenagers that worked there. For most young girls having a
crush is common, so it wasn’t a huge deal…until I ran my mouth out of
excitement, revealing this news to almost all the girls in my cabin. When one
of my counselors found out, she did something I can now appreciate. She wrote
me a letter and towards the end of it, mentioned Proverbs 11:22. My childish
mind wasn’t able to process what she was trying to tell me, but as I got older,
I got a revelation. Later in life, I would continue to go on making the same
mistake; getting excited and showing no discretion, when it came to things I
should’ve kept quiet about. Now? I’m really
careful. I’ve fallen short many times when it came to sharing things with
people I thought were friends, who honestly were better suited for titles such
as - friendly associate, acquaintance, peer, and/or co-worker. When I think
about some of the things I’ve shared with those people, I can see where I
messed up. Friend is a title that
gets tossed around too easily these days, to people who are unworthy and
undeserving of the role. For me, the balance of what to share and what not
to share, and being mindful of who I can be vulnerable with, is something I
have to be careful about on a regular basis. As my life changes, the people in
it do too. I don’t get brand new; I’m just trying to get better. Recognizing that
I can’t talk openly with everybody I’ve connected with, helps me get a grip and
act accordingly. Discretion is dope. My father once told me, “Never give away
your whole hand.” Everything doesn't need to be announced. When I’m into a guy, got some new opportunities going on, closing
deals or making moves, I’m quieter now. I keep my good news on the low, selectively
share it with people in my life I’m close to, and go on about my business. I
think you can chill with different people, share common interests, and bond, but
being mindful about what you’re sharing,
and with who is important to keep in
mind. People should only know what you want
them to know. Anything more borderlines over sharing, and the last thing you
want to do is hand someone a loaded weapon, filled with too much information
about you, that can be used to hurt you later. I’ve been burned plenty of times
making this mistake. Be careful who you confide in, and think before sharing
with different people.
I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...