In the July issue of Cosmopolitan magazine I came across an article titled: Ambition or Love: Do You Have to Choose? I
was alarmed at some of my findings, as well as some of the harsh realities of being
an ambitious woman. There are many men that claim they like dating a woman in
charge, until they actually do. Jenna Birch writes, “The Fallout: some women
are downplaying their career goals to bag a bae. Not okay!” As I read through the
article I was floored. I found some of the stories that different ambitious
women shared to be funny and insightful, yet a bit discouraging. There are
women working hard to have careers of their own, many of whom are intelligent,
beautiful, driven, and making serious bank but desiring, love. That’s
understandable, but turning down ambitions to snag and/or keep a guy is awful. I
like to believe that it’s possible to obtain both ambition and love, but it
depends on the situation. I believe there are men that can celebrate women who
are incredibly successful and some who can’t handle it. Some of the guys that
commented on the article shared that they like smart, beautiful, and successful
women, but find them intimidating, which translates to me as a guy simply being, insecure. I’m just beginning to ease into the career world, and I’ve seen this. I believe
society has evolved past what it means to be a traditional woman, even though some men and women still seem to be
stuck in the 50’s. It’s time to get woke. The reality that some men may face,
is that they may end up with a woman that makes more money than them, is in a
higher position, and unapologetic about it. I feel like a real man would
support that, and not let his ego be bruised by it. If I had to choose between
ambition or love, I’d take ambition. Naturally, I’m filled with love but love
doesn’t pay the way a stable career does. I like stability and it’s important for
me to have a life of my own, and to flourish to the fullest of my potential. I
can’t see myself giving that up for a guy, and why should I? I think the bigger
question beyond choosing between ambition or love, is can you be with someone
and have both? It’s good food for thought.
As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...