Choosing Between Ambition or Love

In the July issue of Cosmopolitan magazine I came across an article titled: Ambition or Love: Do You Have to Choose? I was alarmed at some of my findings, as well as some of the harsh realities of being an ambitious woman. There are many men that claim they like dating a woman in charge, until they actually do. Jenna Birch writes, “The Fallout: some women are downplaying their career goals to bag a bae. Not okay!” As I read through the article I was floored. I found some of the stories that different ambitious women shared to be funny and insightful, yet a bit discouraging. There are women working hard to have careers of their own, many of whom are intelligent, beautiful, driven, and making serious bank but desiring, love. That’s understandable, but turning down ambitions to snag and/or keep a guy is awful. I like to believe that it’s possible to obtain both ambition and love, but it depends on the situation. I believe there are men that can celebrate women who are incredibly successful and some who can’t handle it. Some of the guys that commented on the article shared that they like smart, beautiful, and successful women, but find them intimidating, which translates to me as a guy simply being, insecure. I’m just beginning to ease into the career world, and I’ve seen this. I believe society has evolved past what it means to be a traditional woman, even though some men and women still seem to be stuck in the 50’s. It’s time to get woke. The reality that some men may face, is that they may end up with a woman that makes more money than them, is in a higher position, and unapologetic about it. I feel like a real man would support that, and not let his ego be bruised by it. If I had to choose between ambition or love, I’d take ambition. Naturally, I’m filled with love but love doesn’t pay the way a stable career does. I like stability and it’s important for me to have a life of my own, and to flourish to the fullest of my potential. I can’t see myself giving that up for a guy, and why should I? I think the bigger question beyond choosing between ambition or love, is can you be with someone and have both? It’s good food for thought.

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

How To Respond To A Nasty Email

Technology has made many people bold, rude, and incredibly messy. Often to the point where some may hide behind words they’ve typed instead of verbally communicating a message they want to convey. Such can be the case when it comes to sending emails. Ah, emails. You know what they are. Electronic messages that can be quickly drafted, sent, and misinterpreted (because you can’t always interpret tones or emotions through them). Which is why it’s key to know how to respond to nasty emails if they should ever come your way – especially in the workplace. As a working professional, there have been plenty of times when a coworker or superior sent an email my way that was petty, mad disrespectful, and unprofessional. And before I learned how to properly utilize email etiquette, my first instinct would always be to clap back. I just felt the need to respond and to communicate that I wouldn’t allow anyone, no matter who they were, to disrespect me. And while I haven’t taken t...

Making Waves