In the July issue of Cosmopolitan magazine I came across an article titled: Ambition or Love: Do You Have to Choose? I
was alarmed at some of my findings, as well as some of the harsh realities of being
an ambitious woman. There are many men that claim they like dating a woman in
charge, until they actually do. Jenna Birch writes, “The Fallout: some women
are downplaying their career goals to bag a bae. Not okay!” As I read through the
article I was floored. I found some of the stories that different ambitious
women shared to be funny and insightful, yet a bit discouraging. There are
women working hard to have careers of their own, many of whom are intelligent,
beautiful, driven, and making serious bank but desiring, love. That’s
understandable, but turning down ambitions to snag and/or keep a guy is awful. I
like to believe that it’s possible to obtain both ambition and love, but it
depends on the situation. I believe there are men that can celebrate women who
are incredibly successful and some who can’t handle it. Some of the guys that
commented on the article shared that they like smart, beautiful, and successful
women, but find them intimidating, which translates to me as a guy simply being, insecure. I’m just beginning to ease into the career world, and I’ve seen this. I believe
society has evolved past what it means to be a traditional woman, even though some men and women still seem to be
stuck in the 50’s. It’s time to get woke. The reality that some men may face,
is that they may end up with a woman that makes more money than them, is in a
higher position, and unapologetic about it. I feel like a real man would
support that, and not let his ego be bruised by it. If I had to choose between
ambition or love, I’d take ambition. Naturally, I’m filled with love but love
doesn’t pay the way a stable career does. I like stability and it’s important for
me to have a life of my own, and to flourish to the fullest of my potential. I
can’t see myself giving that up for a guy, and why should I? I think the bigger
question beyond choosing between ambition or love, is can you be with someone
and have both? It’s good food for thought.
I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...